Vision's blurry, hands tremble wild
It's been a long time since I've smiled
Her tender touch reached deep inside
Behind the pain is where I hide

I keep my composure as the little one's cry
Wondering where mommy is, asking me why
I tell them she's with God, in a better place
I've lost my faith but I must save face

I can't forgive Him, he took her from me
It happened so fast I didn't even see
If I said I've moved on it would be a lie
She will be in my heart 'til the day I die

Tears fall down as I clench her picture tight
I sit alone and stare as the sky falls to night
I fake a smile as the little one's play
To save them pain it must be this way

The poem draws from a personal experience but it isn't written based on actual events. I was (still am) taking Narcotic Painkillers and the girl I was with hated it (her brother OD'd and died) and I would often take well over the regular dose when we split. Don't worry I don't have a drug problem they're prescription (I have a messed up back) but I still haven't gotten over her, she was my longest relationship ever and meant the most. We still chat from time to time.

Lookin' at the world through a windowless pane
The days pass and my life feels in vain
Breathing deeper my heart races faster
Taking more pills to get myself past her

I sit for hours not doing a thing
Not very popular my phone doesn't ring
Not a soul around that I can talk to
When I felt down I would come to you

Down another pill to kill the thought
We were perfect together, never fought
So many pills I am all but numb
Crying over your loss I feel so dumb

It was my fault, I caused this all
Everything I did made you fall
You hit so hard your heart broke in two
Driving home that night you said we're through

More pills down followed by some beer
Anger grows second only to fear
Chasing that high I lost my life
The only woman that I wanted to call wife

I finish the bottle, both pills and booze
Feeling the love I never thought I could lose
My life has come down to nothing and none
It seems now it's time for this to be done

Thanks.

I hide the pain beneath the light
Living in the shadows of the night
Walking together, forever he follows
The demon of mine who's soul he swallows

The weight of the world bears down on my heart
The loss of your love tears me apart
With one foot forward I continue to walk
Not a word is said I will not talk

The world is so ugly, so cruel and mean
The most horrific sight that can be seen
A loveless world so dark and cold
A dream come true for only the bold

We stumble around as zombies in a game
Wishing for the day we rise to fame
Fighting with angst we stumble and worry
Maybe we can make it if we all just hurry

A world this cold cannot be divine
Simple thought alone is not of sublime
Without hesitation I reach for my gun
Love is a feeling reserved for none

I wrote this being inspired by the song "A Soldier's Silent Night" and my ex-girlfriend's brother was a Proud United States Marine who passed away on the day of her birthday. This poem can be for any war, though I do not like the way our government does things, I must and always will support and pray for the men and women who give their lives so I may live mine.

R.I.P. Sergeant Jeffrey Raider USMC 03/03/2009

SEMPER FI SOLDIER

This is the poem she wrote about her brother's death:

March the third, two thousand nine
The day was going just fine
I heard the house phone ring
Finding out the worst thing

My brother has died today
And it's my birthday
We got off the highway
Pulled into the driveway

Banging on the door
Seeing someone stand there on the floor
Running to the other side
Not trying to hide

He said I can't go past
So I said my words so fast
As he told me
I dropped to one knee

All I could do was cry
Knowing I never got to say goodbye

He passed away of unknown conditions following his successful tour of Iraq. This man and all men and women in the United States Military are to be praised and treated with the upmost Respect.

I can see them all dying
So hard to fight, I see them trying
Gun battles rage, there goes one man
We're all stuck in this far off land

We left before Christmas, we all said good bye
When the boats let out steam they all gave a sigh
Sorrow we seek when we go overseas
Fighting for our country, we have our release

No one cries, not a single tear
Most of us are here well over a year
We leave behind our love, sitting at the floor
Wondering if ever will we walk through that door

Mind back on the field, I hear my captain's voice
Yelling to our comrades, "This is our choice!"
As the bullet's fly by, one lands on it's mark
I imagine myself sitting down in the park

I see my daughter, my son and my love
Wondering why God sent them down from above
The image fades to black, on the field I am back
Blood pouring deep, feels like a heart attack

I inject the Morphine to kill the pain
Leaving my family I take all the blame
Shivers and colds, my body is dying
My comrades beside me, saving me, trying

I gave my life to my country, my United States Corps
If I had to again I would ask for more
No matter the cost, I knew I had to fight
Because in the end it just felt so right

Even at the ripe old age of 21 I've experienced what I've wrote in my poem, though my ending wasn't quite as permanent as in the poem.

For those who want my take on the meaning:

The couple have a fight, the man says something in a fit of anger that makes the woman leave. He becomes severely depressed in a matter of moments and after awhile, he begins to drink and drink to kill the pain. He ends up drinking so much he drinks himself to death just before she walks back in to mend the relationship.

Don't seem like it lol

It all started with just one word
One simple tone that they both heard
She stormed, heading for the door
Leaving him pleading right on the floor

He begins to cry, tears fall like rain
There's just no way he can cope with this pain
Climbing back up from beneath the hole
The sorrow of her has taken it's toll

Seeing no end he grabs the beer
Enough of those will end his fear
Not strong enough, now comes the rum
Can't understand where this pain comes from.

Another glass down, a pounding attack
The burn is real, there's no going back
Not able to stop he grabs for more
His eyes still swell as he stares at the door

She see's the light, turns back right
Not wanting to end it on this dumb fight
The door flies open, not a sound is heard
It all ended from just one word

I am not looking for anybody I haven't been on this site in awhile just figured I'd show 2 of my new poems and see what everybody thought.


"It's The Night"

I sit and stare at the big picture show
Wanting to feel good, wanting to know
Not an emotion in sight, not seeing the light
Somehow I cry, while ongoes the night

The beer's in the pantry, so is the rum
I head for the booze just like a bum
Shot after shot, I pour them down
My stomach burns as I hit the ground

I drink, drink and drink some more
I think of my life while on the floor
My head begins to hurt, pain shooting fast
I wonder how long this suffering will last

It's hard to drink when the sun is here
The nightmare hits home so does the fear
I sit and write, just another poem wrote
The blood pours long, right from my throat


"The Fire"

Together a bond, two hands held tight
The warmth of their bodies feel so right
Everlasting peace and eternal bliss
Something so secret you just can't miss

She beckons to know, what lies inside
Doesn't know what comes with this kind of ride
I argue myself, to tell or not
Why do the fires of hell burn so hot?

I want so bad to unleash my pain
Though the effort might be in vain
My conscience battles, never ending horror
All I do in my life is just for her

There's no going back
My heart's ready for an attack
I open up and begin to tell
But the pills took over, she watched as I fell

Sitting around the house, not a soul in sight
All alone again on such a dark night
The bottle beckons and I pop the top
My heart sinks as the pills drop

Time passes on without me
It's not that I don't care, you see
I try to find my place, my reason to be
No reason to live when there is no "we"

The night falls again and again
Love means nothing like it did back then
She wonders why he treats her so
Really it's not hard to know

Here she is, all dressed in white
Ready to take me from the night
No regrets and not a single care
I close my eyes and im gone from there

Somebody here is quite uneducated and a flaming conservative. Why did democrats reject offshore drilling by the stupid republicans? Because there is already 68 MILLION ACRES of leased waters unused by oil companies they can drill.

As far as Democrats in congress rising gas prices, that's just retarded. Gas was around $1.50 a gallon in the fall of 2000 with DEMOCRAT BILL CLINTON in office. There is no such thing as inflation or supply and demand people, those are political terms created by republicans and their special interest oil companies. You idiot republicans do realize that your BUSH PRESIDENT owns oil right? So when prices skyrocket, HE PROFITS. All republicans are in bed with oil companies you morons, it is all about GREED. Inflation and Supply and Demand are not real, the only reality is GREED and none of you stupid republican morons can figure that out.

it's just a general rule of thumb that any female animals (males too) that are not going to be breeding should be fixed, it reduces their chance of any problems and also helps them by not being in heat which can bring some minor pains (try being majorly horny for hours and hours)

I work from home as a Writer, so I can't leave this computer =(

Well she won't even talk to me now, and I have no way of trying to call her because she's supposedly out somewhere and no way am I going to waste gas money to go see her just to hear what I already know. I am sick of these liars, is there not 1 person in this world who is frickin' real?

No I didn't believe it was an excuse, what I found fishy wasn't anything to do with the hospital thing today, it was the fact that she didn't "have my number" for 2 days because she was away from home, but another time when she was "away from home" she did have my number.

She just finally called me after she "got out of the hospital" and than she "found" my number. I told her I didn't think she was being honest and than she just hangs up on me. Yeah it's definitely over.

Close, name is Tana.

I think I'm going to, but right now she's supposedly "away" for awhile and I can only talk to her on the phone. Hell she never lets me see her anyways, always makes up an excuse and I eat it because I actually cared.