if you know you're not willing to be in that position then it's right for you to avoid a relationship with someone who has children. it's not right to expect a parent to not put their children first. and i've seen ALOT of successful relationships where one or both partners had children. but they understood the priority and shared in it so it becomes something together they enjoy.

Very good point

ok I am a mom 5 and yes kids come first but also the man does to its about balance and being with a man that enjoys kids and being part of a family the man wont feel second fiddle if everybody involved works as a family and a man and a women work on being a couple it should be no difference if it was a real family how do a real mom and dad make it work they set dat nites and have their time and their kid time. As a single parent you have to have that mind set of having seperation of the private time and the family time just as couples who are the natural parents do whats the difference dont date people if you cant treat the relationship as if it was natural parents involved

Yes, thats the idea PLEASE DONT persue me if you cant handle that my son comes first.


Thats the WHOLLEEE POINT of me putting that on my profile.


HIT THE ROAD!!!!!!

dont ***** if you cant face the facts up front

Man. Too bad I missed THAT little piece of advice.

The last woman I dated has four girls. I should have KNOWN that I would always be secondary. Man.....why couldn't I always be first.

Oh wait..I KNOW.....cuz she's a mother. And any mother that wouldn't put her kids before a man is a pretty sh*tty mother.

Sheesh.

I like her.

like you 2 you rock sister if you know the game dont complain

If It dont apply let it fly. Word.

Of course, her being hot is the ONLY reason to go after her.

Guess what bukko? Kids are SUPPOSED to come first. For dads AND moms. Period.

I put that right up there in my profile for a reason. I was dumb enough to tell my last boyfriend that I could juggle him and them. That he didn't have to be a part of their lives. I regret that... never again. Even if it means I'm alone forever.

And Justaguy?

Okay....so by the OP's standards, I shouldn't have put my kids first when I was married either...because they are and will always be first in my life.. My ex learned that when he threatened them.

Any other man who came into my life after that knew from the get-go that the children I brought into this world would never be pushed aside just so Mom could have some fun. If I wanted to have fun, the kids went with a babysitter. Since I couldn't afford a babysitter all the time, the guy had to understand that "our" time was when the kids fell asleep or he had to lay out the money for a sitter.

Any decent mother or FATHER who has kids will say that the children will always be first, as it should be.

As a single Mother I made it clear to anyone who came into my life that I was a Mother and if they wanted to be important with me then they had to be ready to co-parent as well as be my mate.

That said I do think that many people go way over board at letting their children completely dominate their whole life; their entire identity, and every relationship they have includeing being even remotely fair to themselves.

It is no favor to the child as it doesn't let them mature out of the infantile center of the universe view. They don't learn to share or respect their parents as people and are terrible at relationships. They have to live the things we want them to learn and one of them is they do not always come first or get what they want as and entitlement.

Families are a give and take relationship for everyone involved. True I am not suggesting neglect necessary care for a date or even spouse but the best gift you can give your child is two happy parents not one or two myrters.

I hate when they are really good parents too...

it's good for parents to put the kid first. yeah it's inconvenient sometimes but responsibilities usually are. watch the news for 5 minutes and see what the lack of parental attention and supervision leads to.

Back atcha, sweetie.

U don't want to date a woman that has children because u won't be #1 in her life. Good for u However, there are some men who actually have no problem with that. Who would gladly take on the responsibility of bein a part of not only her life but that of her children. I applaud any man that would be willin to share his life with a single Mom. It's not an easy thing to do. I hope to someday find a man willin to be a part of my life an that of my children. I can guarantee him a life filled with wonderful surprises.

Wanna know why I have no issues with dating someone with kids???

Because I am basically a big kid myself. I love to laugh and have fun and no one knows how to do either one of those things more than a child does.

And yet there is still no answer to the question I asked HIM, a FATHER, of what HIS response would be if while on a date, he got a call saying a kid of his was in the E.R....

Perhaps he's seen the stupidity of his lil 'warnin'

i think its a warning and throws up a BIG red flag if the woman puts ME before her kids. her kids are hers you are not. she can break up with you but she will never break up with her kids. a woman with kids.... you will always be second even if you were married to her and the kid was yours you will always be second to the kid. quit crying and face the truth. sorry bro i just call it like i see it