I usually skip over profiles that mention it. Having come from a similar experience, I am a little (overly) sensitive to this. There's absolutely no need for the addendum (THEY COME FIRST). I'd have to be an idiot to not understand that kids need much attention. I'm not an idiot (in this regard), so they must not be talking to me.

There is no first and last. I get tired of hearing about it. There is proper prioritization of your life. Quality time with your kids should be a priority. And you should make the time. Making time to maintain your relationship with your spouse/partner should also be a priority. If you can't manage to do both, you won't have a relationship to manage.

I am fine with my partner having kids. I have 3 kids and, of course, I love them dearly. And I do spend quality time with them, sharing with them, doing homework with them, going to the zoo with them. But there is plenty of time in my life to give to my partner. I'll make it a priority. I won't be in a relationship where I am not a priority to her.

This is his opinion and he is thoroughly entitled to it. I am against censorship because it really doesn't allow you to see what and who you are dealing with. His feelings will be the same whether he can express them or not. Anyone who takes this guys advice, I imagine that you wouldn't want him persuing you anyway. I personally would expect a mother to put her kids first. As a man, when I see on the profile that the kids live with her, I understand that she has responsibilities to her children first and foremost. Any mother who doesn't, is lacking something upstairs.

I agree...
and it goes for the guys also. The ones that say... "my daughter is my little princess, sorry ladies". All our children are important, goes without saying. if it is said beware.

For the most part I have found that men who are a father to their own children deal much better with kids in the relationship. Now if you have a man who has kids and doesn't interact with them regularly, beware if you have children. Single guys who do not have kids yet so haven't shown their calibre as a parent are a chance but you never know they may turn out to be great fathers and/or father figures.

Dating when kids are involved is a difficult thing because all actions of the adults effect the children. Single parents need to be extra careful because it is not only them that could be hurt.

I'd be more worried about a parent who doesn't put their kids first.

I will take the bullet for my 8 year old twin boys any day

no one is sensoring him in any way shape or form.

just because there is an overwhelming disagreement toward his beliefs doesn't mean anyone is shutting him up.

it just means alot of people disagree and are probably now worried about his kids which apparently he does not put first.

Kids are fine to be No 1 priority, I got nothing against it, but what gets me going if a dog beats me to the no 1. spot. True story, happened to me. I mean...pets are nice and I like them too, I had several dogs before, and cats too, but when it comes to human relationships and somehow a dog pushes out a man from the rank list of priorities and love..you got major problems.

Hey now, don't have or want kids here.

Its just as hard for me finding a guy who doesn't have kids. Kids are fine but I just don't care them. Some of the rude comments I get about it are kinda sad.

I'll sort of give you that. My animals have always ranked higher then any man. But then, I've had them longer and have had the whole emotional ties. That said, every guy I was with pulled thr me or them ultimatum. I choose animals. They are NOT disposable items, and that's what the guy were asking me to do. Where the mans maturity that he would even ask?

Sorry to tell ya bud, but a woman's child will always come first

I'd never get rid of my pets or anything like that for a guy.

If anything, women who put their children before their relationships with men is something to be commended. I've seen so many ladies out there put their OWN needs (specifically that of the sexual nature- hence the relationships with men) in front of their children, which is pretty traumatic on them to say the least. Not only is it rather selfish, but it's just not fair to the children as a while. I mean... if you were wanting to go out dating and having fun, then WHY pop out the kiddies in the first place?

The LAST thing I would want to be is put ahead of the children of the woman I'm dating. Once a woman's had kids, THEY become priority over anything else.

that's why i don't date at all.

i have no time for anyone other than my kids.

Holy crap........selfish.

nice answer!

Oh, I can totally identify with that.

I get e-mails from people saying "I know I could change your mind about dating women with kids."

No, you couldn't. I've already looked into that.

But when I tell them that, they get very angry and occasionally abusive. It's sad when someone can't understand that it's OK for other people to have their own preferences.

It's the ones who go on and on about "But you would make such a great father!" that bug me the most. These are people who don't know the first thing about me -- jumping to conclusions like that only makes them look like complete idiots.

I don't think anyone said there is something wrong with his personal preference. If they did I missed it. What I don't get is he himself IS a parent. So would the same hold true for him? His kid gets rushed to the e.r. does he tell a date, "Ack, he/she can wait..I'm with you tonight hot stuff"????

Coming from a mother, I will tell you both that it's perfectly fine to have a list of things you do and don't want in a person. Kids are a HUGE part of a parent's life, and if you know you can't/don't want to deal with them, it's best not to even try, for the sake of all involved.

My beef wasn't with that at all. My beef was with the assumption that she should have put the OP first ahead of her kids. Just... not gonna happen and should never happen.

I don't have a problem with his preference, either. What I did have a problem with was the level of hostility in which he expressed it and his complete lack of taking responsibility for his OWN actions.