If you think dating and relationships are head games then you will constantly find drama -- and then you will create more drama by complaining. Don’t perpetuate the vicious cycle.

Not all people are head cases nor do they make dating a game. Raise your standards and the first red flag you see -- stop dating that person. You will learn to read people better and your tolerance for crap will become close to zero.

It's the easiest formula that no one gets:

You reap what you sow. Expect quality and you will attract quality. Anyone else is not worthy.

NEVER going to happen..

There must be some rouge bees lurking about somewhere. yes?

OP: To be honest, I never had a problem getting a date, it's finding "more" that is difficult!!...

I mean, c'mon... a date is a time for socialization, fun, and just going out and not being alone.... if both people are honest, even if there is no attraction - there is no reason at all that a date cannot be a fun time, enjoying a dinner -- a play -- or people watching at a local event...

Date's are easy, it's relationships that are difficult.

As a woman, all you have to do to go on a date is say "yes"... as a man, all you have to do is ask... you may be surprised as to the result!!!

$.02

Hello generalizations!

Insecurities from my last relationship

This is an interesting point. It's my feeling that sense the industrial revolution men have had to leave the home to work and boys are denied the influence of adult males. They learn to interact with women through their relationships with their mothers. I know you women love your sons. But, there are some things that need to be taught by a man. Often these are things you may feel your son doesn't need to know.

When I go out to socialize I go out without an agenda except to have fun. I start conversations with whoever is close to me. I'll get something going and I'll ask someone else what they think about it.

For example, I'll ask a man next to me if he'd date a man that didn't shave under her arms. Once he answers we'll talk about it a little and why I'm asking him. I'll get his name and then I'll open some other group sitting off to one side. "Hey you guys, Bill here and I were just talking and we disagree. Maybe you can help us settle an argument. Would you date a woman that didn't shave her pits?" Now I've got several people talking. I never come on to women. Once they see what a friendly social guy I am they make it known they want to be with me.

My point was that middle aged women seldom want to join in with everyone else in this type of situation. Now, I'm not going to start a conversation with them about shaving of course. But, most of the place will now be interacting with these middle aged women sitting of to one side looking angry. What my mom used to call "an ol stick in the mud."

When I can get along with EVERY other group of people, men (gay and straight) young women, very old women children, whatever, but middle aged women snub me I really have to think it's more to do with the women than it is me.

Learn to get out of your own way. You know who you are, pimples and all, realize that everyone has them and calm down. And most important, don't apologize for who you are.
You have practiced not being yourself for a long time. Now practice being yourself and you will attract the people who you are supposed to attract.

Good advice. It's our imperfections that make us all unique. Perfect is dull.

my problem is lack of social circle, don't get out much and im a single mom of 3

I do not have problems meeting people it is finding the "right" one. That is the difficult part I think for most?

WAO!MY FRIEND THAT IS TOO MUCH! GO ON VACATION!

Trust.

To meet the right person you have to meet a lot of people. Imagine how hard it was when people lived in small tribes of less than 100 people! How many were single, the right age, were healthy, not to closely related, etc. Back then your dating pool may have only been 3 or 4 to choose from.

TS, I don't normally disagree with you, but I'll make a suggestion here. Your process seems to be: quantity will get results. Which is true, to some extent. The more women you meet, the better chance you will have of finding the right one for you, if only by sheer numbers.

Personally, I think there is an easier way.

First, you have to know what you are looking for. That TYPE of person will be in certain professions, be involved in specific areas of the community, clubs, social gatherings, etc. If you target those specific areas, you will automatically narrow the field. Your group of potential mates will be smaller, but more compatible.

That is a very simplistic synopsis, but I think you get the idea.

I don't date, so I have no issues.

That's an interesting notion. I suppose if you just have to marry a virgin you're probably not going to find her working in a strip club. However, I don't put those kinds of limits on likely girlfriends. I know I can meet a great woman anywhere doing anything. I've dated nurses, teachers, artists, musicians and strippers. However, I tend prefer the artistic crowd and I do go to places where that type hang out. But, I also go to the upscale, downtown nightclubs and rub elbows with the professional women.

You just never know who will trip your trigger.

If a woman was my age, and still a virgin, I would run the other way.

By going to an upscale nightclub, you are narrowing the field. Which is a good thing.

I had a lady friend, who was determined she would find "Mr. Right" at the bar, because she liked to party, drink and go clubbing. Personally, I thought she was REALLY going to have a hard time finding a guy that fit all her criteria, yet STILL craved the night-life, like she did.

So I suggested exactly what you stated, you do: Go to the upscale clubs, where the lawyers and law students hang out, in this town. If you're going to be with a party animal, it might as well be one that has money.