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| Topic: How Do YOU feel about violent men or women? | |
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When they claim to have changed and act nice should we trust them? Or should we just move on.
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Why chance it.....move on!
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thanks. That is what I feel I should do, even though am pregnant. It seems safer raising and loving my kids alone than taking the chance of violence again. If I am meant to find someone, I will.
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Edited by
TMommy
on
Thu 04/30/15 05:48 PM
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I see a lot of posts from you that involve abuse
I am not sure if it's you or someone you know but domestic abuse counseling is a good idea to help break the cycle to help recognize that a victim of abuse becomes conditioned like a dog that is kicked one minute and petted the next manipulation and control tactics that can mess with your head over time in my opinion once that line has been crossed into violence can someone ever change? I doubt it will that relationship ever be good again? no way in hell if you cannot find the strength to stay gone for your sake do it for your children |
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Edited by
realcarebear
on
Thu 04/30/15 05:50 PM
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thanks. That is what I feel I should do, even though am pregnant. It seems safer raising and loving my kids alone than taking the chance of violence again. If I am meant to find someone, I will. You dont deserve a life of violence or your children. You will do great on your own! There are lots of programs that support single parents too! And I'm certain you will find a great man who will treat you right! Hang in there! |
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Men who hit women are like dogs that bite. They don't do it just once
No matter what they say, it is a serious character flaw. A mindset. That in my opinion can not and will not change |
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Edited by
realcarebear
on
Thu 04/30/15 05:54 PM
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Men who hit women are like dogs that bite. They don't do it just once No matter what they say, it is a serious character flaw. A mindset. That in my opinion can not and will not change True^^^^^ Maybe days or years even but its a cycle and eventually it will happen again..maybe even to your children next time. |
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If a woman hits me even once,
the relationship pretty much ends right there. |
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Run, don't walk, the other way.
Once the line has been crossed, it no longer exists and abuse will happen again. Ms. T's right. Counseling provides, at the very least, the first leg of a support network. Don't let feelings of insecurity, feeling scared you aren't able to fend for yourself and your child, enable the false hope that an abuser will change. The odds are severely against that. Get counseling and use it to build a loving and caring support network. You don't have to face this alone. Start soon. Now would be perfect. God's Blessings and good luck. 
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I see a lot of posts from you that involve abuse I am not sure if it's you or someone you know but domestic abuse counseling is a good idea to help break the cycle to help recognize that a victim of abuse becomes conditioned like a dog that is kicked one minute and petted the next manipulation and control tactics that can mess with your head over time in my opinion once that line has been crossed into violence can someone ever change? I doubt it will that relationship ever be good again? no way in hell if you cannot find the strength to stay gone for your sake do it for your children This. I was in an abusive relationship. Found out after we broke up that all of his relationships have been violent. I don't know if the violence was mutual...I just know I never put my hands on anyone in anger. The abuser needs serious therapy to stop the violence. The percentage of it reoccurring is very high without serious help. The victim needs therapy as well. Physical, emotional, verbal and psychological are damaging to even the strongest person |
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I once let the "C Word" fly with my 17yo gf Karen S.
She threw a right cross and knocked me over the hood of my car. I ABHOR violence!.....but I deserved it! I have never used that word in a moment of anger since. I will love Karen S. til the day I die for that lesson! |
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Edited by
TMommy
on
Thu 04/30/15 06:04 PM
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most say that you the victim antagonized them in some way
that you asked for it or had it coming that if you had just kept your mouth shut and been sweeter and did what they said it never would have come to this abuse can be more than just getting punched or kicked or having a chair thrown at you or choked it can be not allowing you to leave, taking your keys, your purse it can be controlling you so that you do not have access to a car, a phone or the bank account separating you from your friends and family isolating you so that you are easier to control it can be saying mean and insulting things to you such as you are stupid, fat or ugly as a way of undermining your self esteem keeping track of your every move all the while telling you that they have what is best for you in mind |
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I am a member of two groupd against abuse. Still have had lots of flack from men when I wanted to move on, saying and soem women too that I needed to be a better wife to my ex and he woudl not have been mean to us and that I have no right to have anyone else. Its hard enough to be a single mom or dad without judging.
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Thanks for your imput. It helps alot, will be better when I move form here and do not see my ex around town to act nice to us and make me feel bad.
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I love my new sista.
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thanks guys, blesings to you all and may your life be happy always
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in my opinion..you need to find a victims of abuse support group that does not have any religious affiliations
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Edited by
realcarebear
on
Thu 04/30/15 06:08 PM
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most say that you the victim antagonized them in some way that you asked for it or had it coming that if you had just kept your mouth shut and been sweeter and did what they said it never would have come to this abuse can be more than just getting punched or kicked or having a chair thrown at you or choked it can be not allowing you to leave, taking your keys, your purse it can be controlling you so that you do not have access to a car, a phone or the bank account separating you from your friends and family isolating you so that you are easier to control it can be saying mean and insulting things to you such as you are stupid, fat or ugly as a way of undermining your self esteem keeping track of your every move all the while telling you that they have what is best for you in mind Ooooh yes ^^^^^^ Also they like to make you look crazy or feel crazy. My kids dad would hide my stuff and tell me I never owned such things....stupid **** like that. All I can say is life is sooooo sweet without him! |
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most say that you the victim antagonized them in some way that you asked for it or had it coming that if you had just kept your mouth shut and been sweeter and did what they said it never would have come to this abuse can be more than just getting punched or kicked or having a chair thrown at you or choked it can be not allowing you to leave, taking your keys, your purse it can be controlling you so that you do not have access to a car, a phone or the bank account separating you from your friends and family isolating you so that you are easier to control it can be saying mean and insulting things to you such as you are stupid, fat or ugly as a way of undermining your self esteem keeping track of your every move all the while telling you that they have what is best for you in mind Ooooh yes ^^^^^^ Also they like to make you look crazy or feel crazy. My kids dad would hide my stuff and tell me I never owned such things....stupid **** like that. many are experts at putting on the good father and husband act in front of friends and family and community so that when others find out that you have left and accused him of being abusive you end up looking like the crazy one |
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I love my new sista. 
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