I don't have them very often but when I confessed I'd had two recently a guy I was interested in dating got jealous and freaked out. I wasn't even his girlfriend when I had them so isn't it weird that he'd flip out about it? I feel like he expected me to be monogamous with him before we'd ever met. Is that normal? He'd never mentioned sex with other ppl was gonna be an issue during the weeks we texted prior to meeting once for coffee. I wasn't gonna fault him for sleeping with anyone while in Las Vegas over New Year's since we hadn't met in person yet. I guess I was naive to think he'd appreciate an honest woman no I'm not that promiscuous I've only had sex twice since Halloween. I feel like this guy over-reacted when he said he never wants to see me again and I wanna know am I in the wrong? I'm just gonna go back to being abstinent for awhile if it's gonna cause this much drama. I really did wanna be in a serious relationship but now the guy doesn't believe me.

He obviously thought higher of you than you really deserved :/ sorry but I'd bet the house on that . You're not wrong and neither is he. The guy wanted a girl he could respect and you......well you didn't fit that description obviously. Not every girl has one night stands...in fact most girls I know personally would have a completely different view than you , but if you do then that's who you are....but you can't expect someone to think something is ok just because you do .
Sounds like he has standards & wants to love & respect the woman in his life. Do the guy a favor, forget you ever spoke & let him find someone better...
Sorry if it sounded bad but I assumed you wanted the ugly truth not the pretty lies that most will offer you.
Also what does being abstinent do, if you see his decision as an over-reaction ? It's your attitude of the whole thing reeks of a shallow understanding & someone who's just never gonna get it. I'm sure he saw that & realized he could easily do way better.

"Is it wrong to have casual one night stands when single?"

A single person only needs one night stand.

Honestly neither one of you are "wrong"...You both have opposed values and expectations.

In this day and age people are a bit more careful about having one night stands.
He doesn't believe in them and you do. therefore...You wish each other well and go your separate ways end of discussion.

I personally am not into hook ups never have been, never will. And this is a classic example why I believe in a complete STD testing to be done before having sex with someone. Sorry call me old fashion...
But I want to be sure I am in bed with one person at a time not whomever that they have been with before that decided to leave a gift or two....

No...call it self respect & the ability to cherish something that has the potential to be beautiful.
It saddens me constantly that her attitude towards it outnumbers yours. Keep your self respect ...be proud of it & say good riddance to anyone who doesn't understand it!

IMHO, You were only wrong to tell him... it was none of his business.
Nor, were you in the wrong to have your liaisons...but do be safe about it..

You are correct on both points thanks for taking time to respond. I'm still fresh off recent divorce after being monogamous for 12yrs and clearly still have a lot to learn about about being single. I do have safe sex but of course nothing is safer than abstinence.

See, I wouldn't ask about things like that to someone I was interested in. If I am with a girl and am in a relationship and she asks about it....then I will probably lie. Seriously! Some things do not need to be known (as in the number of past girls I was with) and I do not need to know her number. But seeing as how this was someone you were interested in, and his reaction was like that....well good thing you found out about how insecure he is.

You dodged a bullet. A guy with a double standard, male trump cards, ego, and insecurity issues is a disaster for anyone to be involved with, unless they like a control freak, who thinks that's what being dominant is all about.

Thank the powers that be, when people show their true colors early on, as then you didn't pay the price, which is just too high...

and congrats on being you, and enjoying what YOU desire...

Your still getting back on your feet, and maybe very overloaded and stressed. Relax enjoy being single, keep any dating to the area of fun for today. Enjoy your vacation time

I don't think it is a question of different values at all here. If you are not in a monogamous relationship, then there should be no expectation that you are...don't let these responders make you feel bad for your decisions as you should not feel shame for them. As for telling the guy about your other one night stands, I agree that you don't need to share all of those details. He probably left mostly because his pride was hurt above anything else.

This is one of the reason you should try to keep some things to yourself.

Sometimes I don't tell the truth when somebody ask me personal questions because lot of times they hold it against me. So a little secret here and there doesn't really hurt.

Welcome to Mingle. Best luck to you!

Some people ask questions they really don't need to know and can't handle the answers to. Because you'd spent time chatting on line, he'd romanticised about you. Everyone likes to feel special. Hearing that some other man had entered your secret garden with possibly a fraction of the effort he'd made was a massive blow to his ego. Fact is, all relationships start out as a one night stand. Some folks decide to go back for round 2, some don't. In some cases it's mutual but usually one person just decides not to make an effort to the dismay of the other. Very few are so bold and compatible to discuss not pursuing it any further before the event. See it as a lucky escape. He's probably looking for someone just like momma?

This guy is an insecure tool. He's just got mad that you are capable of pulling multiple dates. My guess is he thought he was in a relationship with you because you were the first woman to pay him attention..in a long time.

Many guys that date online wouldn't understand a relationship if it hit them over the head.

No you are not wrong in enjoying being single, imo it's healthy. This guy is obviously just an idiot.

Charlie Sheen didn't think so.

As opposed to a serious one-night stand?

Casual one-night stand: You never catch his name
to give him the bad news.

Serious one-night stand: You have his name and
number to give him the bad news.

I always tell her my name is Raoul.

As far as some people saying not many women have one-night stands...

I know a lot of men that have one-night stands...and in almost every case there is a women involved.

So the proportion of how many men have one-night stands compared to women...is just about equal...

i have never had a one night stand and never will
but to each there own

Man/woman meet, get drunk, have sex and next morning they go separate ways, never to be seen or heard from again...ever. Thats a one night stand. There is no need to mention this to anyone, leave alone a person of interest. If you keep doing this, then its a whole new game...self respect, low esteem and other factors come into play, and then yes, you are obligated to inform the person of interest. How they react is up in the air.....to each their own...all I am saying...