Where you can be comfortable with your partner , cuddle naked, shower together deep tongue kissing , tease...rubbing, explore.. but no penetration until marriage or agree to.

Why torture yourself and the other?
Find someone who's okay with waiting, but then don't go that far to make it so difficult.

Considering your age I do however question your motivation. I know that for young women in certain cultures their virginity is crucial to finding a mate, or it is important to them due to their own beliefs or religion.
But at age 44... Are you using this attitude to force someone into marriage just so they can finally have sex with you?
I'd personally prefer a man to love me, not only lust over me. That fades real fast. Love has substance, lust doesn't.

It doesn't sound like a platonic relationship to me but if you're comfortable with everything but penetrative sex, at least until married, then that's your choice. However, you should make sure that this is indeed the case.

hi
nice thinking.
hope you will be ok.thanks

As I ve mentioned there, "until marriage or when they both agree to" so it is not just about marriage.

Aside from all that.

This is what Dr. Arun Ghosh has to say.

WHY LOVE HURTS

A key hormone released during sex is oxytocin, also known as the ‘cuddle hormone’. This lowers our defences and makes us trust people more, says Dr Arun Ghosh, a GP specialising in sexual health at the Spire Liverpool Hospital.

It’s also the key to bonding, as it increases levels of empathy. Women produce more of this hormone, although it’s not clear why, and this means they are more likely to let their guard down and fall in love with a man after sex.

However, the problem is that the body can’t distinguish whether the person we’re with is a casual fling or marriage material — oxytocin is released either way. So while it might help you bond with the love of your life, it’s also the reason you may feel so miserable when a short-term relationship ends.

Men, on the other hand, instead of getting a surge of bonding hormone receive a surge of simple pleasure.

‘The problem is that when a man has an orgasm, the main hormone released is dopamine — the pleasure hormone. And this surge can be addictive,’ says Dr Ghosh.

That’s why so many more men tend to suffer from sex addiction.


For women especially - the mind plays a key role in achieving orgasm. The key to female arousal seems to be deep relaxation and a lack of anxiety


a biological reason for this.’

Sex: Why it makes women fall in love - but just makes men want MORE!

Hi blacky

Can you post the full article or a reference link ., if it is the same article I am looking at it starts off saying sexual intercouse is good for our health and goes on to say why rejection hurts . By providing only a part of the article . It changes the context of what was said .

no, partly platonic does not exist, any more than a little bit pregnant does

Party-platonic does exist......although probably just called friendship. No cohabitation, no holidaying together.....no sexual contact before marriage....sounds like a recipe for a strong bond...if you can resist.

Hello dear

As long as rubbing belly buttons is included I agree

I know all that. Doesn't mean you do get into extremely intimate situations that are highly sexual with a guy.
What it does mean is that you don't have sex until there have been enough bonding moments. When that is depends on the times you see each other, the quality of the date etc.
Men DO produce oxytocine and bond as well, it just works differently and takes a wee bit longer. A woman's behaviour and energy has a lot to do with it. And being highly sexy, getting into sexually laden situations is NOT the way to achieve that bonding.
It's about sharing other things, emotional & feeling things. And... it's up to the woman to bring that to the table, to help that rise, as this realm is natural to a woman.
But when she slips into a highly sexual vibe she's doing the opposite. If you don't allow penetration but do other things you do remain stuck on the lust-only level.
Watch some free material of coaches to learn what the right way is.. Nicole Moore, Rori Raye, Matthew Hussey... all great sources with a ton of free material.

But Blacky, who could resist you ?
Can a moth resist the brightest light ?
I would fail your waiting game.

Would the woman in question,
be giving me a daily BJ?

Sounds like high school.
How many people are alive right now because this failed?
How many teen pregnacies?
How many unwed mothers?

Its like placing a bag of gasoline in the center of a bonfire expecting no explosion of fire.

Sexual stimulation is part of the sexual process.
There needs to be a release.
If you fear penetration just masturbate.
Ramping someone up like that, with no release, is dangerous.
It's more likely to backfire on you.

He could end up raping you.
Its likely he will look to someone else to give him what he needs.
Everybody knows, you don't poke a tiger unless you want to fight it.
Well, you don't sexually tease a man unless you want to release him.

If you are trying to build love in a relationship with a goal of marraige there are better ways to express that love that does not involve sex.
Unless you want your marraige to be based on sex instead of love?

Sure.
Happens all the time.
For a little while.
Then it fails.


Oxytocin is released by both men and women.
Not just during penetration.
All the things listed in the op, including hand holding, intimate moments, touching, release oxytocin, in men and women.


Another interesting thing about oxytocin is it increases perceptions of attraction towards a partner. There have a been a few studies, although some weren't that well done, where they dose a guy with oxytocin then show him a pretty/sexy girl. He doesn't bond with the stranger or even want to bang her, he perceives a stronger bond/attraction/desire to/for the partner he's bonded with.

Even another interesting thing about oxytocin is there have been studies showing the (hormonal) birth control pill reducing the efficacy of oxytocin in women.

Men and women also release testosterone. The more released, the better the orgasm. But testosterone also inhibits the effects of oxytocin.


Dopamine facilitates association/messaging.
Quoted is like saying "the problem is that when junkies get high, the main thing they use is a syringe...Those things are why so many more junkies tend to suffer from heroin addiction."

It would be more accurate to look at smoking. Whereas the nicotine leaves the body pretty quickly after cessation, the associated social factors make it more difficult to quit. Having something in their hands, an accompaniment to drinking, self image.
Saying dopamine is the reason for sex addiction is like saying all that learned behavior people associated/adopted with smoking is the reason why people sought out smoking in the first place.


Other than that, it's complicated and complex.
So:

You're referring to a biological process.
Despite what a lot of people want to believe you are a biological being incapable of absolute control over yourself.
You age. You have a finite span. Your body/biology gives you a finite window. It operates according to its own timeline, not your socially derived/trained desires for when you're "comfortable."

The biological process of pair bonding doesn't have a multi year window that you can absolutely plan for, and it is not absolutely guaranteed for eternity.

There is ultimately a purpose for it other than to titillate emotional "feelz" good or ego stroking.

Sure, partly platonic exists. And you can have it for a short time. But after that, it's time to poop or get off the pot. If you don't do the former, there are other biological factors at work that will make you get off the pot.

Good luck!

If you are BOTH READY to marry each other, do it sooner rather than later.

What you are talking about (more than hugging and kissing) can actually be very uncomfortable/painful/unhealthy for a male, at least -not sure about females.

Interesting note: Biblically, a couple become man and wife at the point they have intercourse/become one flesh. Ceremonies/legalities are just that. That is why it is usually allowed for marriages to be annulled if they were not consummated.

^^^^°°°°

I have an unconventional view on sex. Sex is not sex without penetration. Everything else is foreplay or teasing. So yeah, to me, what you describe is platonic, without sex.

I've been celibate for the past 14 years and I will be 38 next month/the reason I've been celibate for so long is most individuals don't believe in waiting to become intimate/no it's it's never either or it's just if you don't want to have sex with me something is wrong with you and I simply do not live like that I never have and I never will that's the reason I'm here to find a platonic relationship I consider myself a sexual and I guess that's about all have a great day everyone 🖤