Haven't stopped dating men but trying to avoid the smooth talking guys. Just not worth the conversation. Cheaters don't bug me so much. No I don't like it but at least I feel like if a relationship tanks because a guy is a cheat at least it is not like I did anything wrong. I just have a rule "fool me once shame on you; fool me twice shame on me"; shame is something I don't need.

Is it possible that this little boy that has you twisting in the wind is just bragging on Facebook to cover with his friends that a Hot little Stawberry blonde has ditched him and this #10 is made up to "save face"?

Block and delete features have the added bonus of making a person invisable to you as well as you to them. Do yourself a favor and use this feature and save yourself from self torture. Guarantee out of sight much faster out of mind.

I can't speak for other women but I much prefer a man who says who he is and what he is about. That said He has to be man enough to accept if I don't like his preferences to move on to the ones who do.

Personally I see an affinity for gentleman's club, even the so called classy ones, as a waste of money and asking for trouble. They have high crime statistics and bouncers for a reason. I doubt the service is that good or the place that clean, probably any other entertainment equally sexist. I am sure my gender preference doesn't appreciate the entertainment value of almost naked woman but if I want a man I would hope that my presence in his life "did it" for him in that department. I don't think that is a unique perspective. So in a way you are narrowing the field.

Always thought it had to be a joke to call a hymen a hymen.

I have heard a lot of reasons why cheaters say they cheat but what is consistent is many say it has very little to do with the person being cheated on.

Usually it is boredom. Sometimes it is just so easy. Desire for excitement or romance. Anonomous sex. Drug addiction. Desire to feel popular. Fear of ageing. Attention junkies.

Personally I think a lot of it is an inner generational learned behavior. If someones parents cheat, you can just about count on them either cheating or ditching you. If their peers cheat you might as well make the fix up.

What knocks me out is the number of fools who think that they will be the one who someone cheats with but who will not be cheated on.

Only slightly brighter are the ones who date a known cheater. People who do this kind of behavior are really pretty obvious. Serial relationships. Sometimes a clear reputatation as a cheat. If a female is being passed over by your peers there is probably a good reason. Most men won't be that big a crybaby to tell you the whole story on why you shouldn't date someone but if they are subtle suggesting this is not the greatest choice catch on. And if your gal pals are decidely cool or tell you they don't like her don't just chalk it off to jealousy.

This is a long thread. Don't transfer what does not apply to you.

I AGREE everyone should THINK before they drive and be in good condition before they drive but that is not really very realistic.

I was not accuseing anyone of DUI what I am saying is if you hug the line you will appear to be a DUI driver and probably get stopped. A real drag and consumes considerably more time. Since cops don't like unsubstaniated stops you are risking them finding a reason to hassle you. Such as search your car or paper work. We all know a professional peace officer would never rough up a citizen or a car but after they have scrapped up enough bodies off the highways they don't really like aggressive drivers and you are asking for trouble.

Consideration is not a given. Focus is not always a given.

People are humans and sometimes they drive when they are tired, upset, lost, or frail.

Tail gateing and elderly driver and blinding them with your lights is pretty juvinile and dangerous because if you miss judge the and elderly persons reflexs you are likely to be eating their bumper and I pretty much guarantee you they are better insured and have a lawyer to make you very miserable.

Hugging the left line to dominate another driver is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Sooner or later that is going to get you killed. With the number of eyes in the sky it is also likely to get you stopped for driving under the influence which is pretty much guaranteed to take more time than being a considerate driver yourself even if someone else isn't.

It all comes down to the old axiom "Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right".

Sheesh all this drama over a stop light? Get in gear fifteen miutes earlier to get where you are going and you won't be so stressed. So what you are stopped for one more cycle than a single light; look at the scenery a little bit listen to the radio. Sweating all the small stuff takes energy away form the stuff that really matters. What are you going to do if you get a real loss in your life? What ever happen to honking the horn and waving with a reassureing smile? Offering helpful directions. So many lonely people you might just make a friend rather than add to the stress and distraction in the world.

Oh and the person most often hurt by aggressive driving is the driver; more collisions, more tickets, more wear and tear on the car, higher insurance rates, and less fuel economy.

What knocks me out about this thread are the number of people, myself included, who are so open and intimate with their feelings on line but will barely look someone within ten feet of them in the eye because we have all been so savaged by one on one relationships the distance is the only thing that feels safe. I know we are suppose to learn from our experiences but the ones that feel like love fade so fast and I am not sure why. Sweet Dreams my Mingle friends. You are never really alone because I keep you in my heart and hopes.

Seems like you almost have to get a club and hit some of the guys over the head now days. Subtle flirting rarely works. I just rarely find if I make the first move it works.

Well for me it was a privilege for me to care for my spouse and when the situation was reversed my spouse felt the same way.

Having been on both sides of this issue I can unequically say if you truly love someone you do not define your love by the physical ability to express it. Sooner or later the majority of couples learn this reality. Some of us learn it very early and it is not and easy thing to face but no where in any vows I have every heard does it say only if things happen when you expect it.

Or inability, which ever way you want to look at it. Physical expression of love is more possible, even within limits of quadriplegic than most outsiders know. Wheather her spouse can effect sex the way she wants it is really more the issue. So it is more and issue of wanting what she wants; how she wants it.

IMHO exchangeing love is about the person, there mind, their soul, their humor, their affection, their loyalty (which is obviously absent here at least on one side), faith, respect, selflessness, and other character traits.

Nor do you use caregiving as some kind of proof of your love. Does a Mother just love her child because she feeds or diapers her child? I don't think so. Neither does a spouse who addresses those needs. If she is "doing" her husband's care when she is not at work (or out boinking some stranger what is it three or four times a year) she is caregiving because she chooses to.

Spouses are not required to give that kind of care if they do not want to do it. If she is; which I question she is doing well if he is chroniclly having infections, there is probably an element of wanting to spend less of his settlement and use it as an excuse to have control over their JOINT resources such as their home, vehicals, children -if they have any, and social security which she would loose if they divorce or he decided he had to recieve care outside of the home.

You might think she is being "left with being the caregiver" but you may or may not know if she has in fact barred his family from their home. Sounds like she is doing a pretty good job of manipulateing you to feel sorry for her.

For all of the folks that think they would be heroic and just tell their spouse they can do whatever feels good don't have a clue what it feels like to survive a catastrophic injury. If you fight like you have to fight to survive and get home you don't just say ok you can cr-p on what is left of my life of our life/

How much does just being and aquaintence cost? I am on a budget.

I would try to put myself in the perspective of a young woman and see what you are offering in your profile that might appeal to her.

I always thought anyone who was really tough or for that matter really a good person wouldn't have to prove it with talk. Their reputation would just kind of preceed them.

Really a lot of good advice.

It sicks when someone kicks you when you are down but evidently it was a blessing in disguise because you seem to be getting your life together without the anchor around your neck.

It is really easy to look at someone as more desireable than they really are when they aren't around to prove you wrong. Don't idealize this person's faults away.

Do yourself a favor and put up a picture of her with a list of all the "stuff" she did to you in big bold black letters. Betraying me and putting my life at risk by sleeping with you after she was obviously getting busy with someone else would be on top of my list but you have your own insults.

Second would be making a limited time of day that you allow yourself to think this over and greive. I would suggest in an early morning workout or shower. When that is done then put it away until the next day. You dwell on it in the evening or at night when you are tired it will only disrupt your rest and normal interaction with others.

Third Make a savings account and save for something big you really want. Then you will have some funds to bail you out in a pinch and something to look forward too if you don't.

Hang in there and jump into the forums and you will have more friends than you can count soon.

Oooooh the laundry. Well I am down to my own pretty much at this point so chopped that monster down to size.

When the kids were younger I bought all white underwear and tube socks so that was one load each a week in one of those big mesh bags. I learned early on wrinkled underwear does not kill anybody so out of the dryer into a deep drawer un-sorted or folded. Hang up the bag where the kids, even the big ones, strip help.

Everybody had their own bedroom towel bar too. Personal towels found not on the towel bars were confiscated and had to be bought back out of their arcade allowance. When they hang and dry and don't get tromped on a load a week usually does it.

Along the same idea everybody in our house had a personal chef apron for cooking and eating. That cuts down a lot on the boo boos and trying to scrub stains out. One over the door hanger in the pantry makes them easy to find.

Then as lacking in variety as it might seem everyone wore blue jeans or denim skirts the majority of the time.

I don't know it really made a difference or not but I think making kids responsible for their own laundry at a relatively young age starting with toddlers pushing the rolling basket back and forth during movie breaks and popcorn made it a family activity.

Also buying enough clothes and letting the kids pick more of their own when they get older so they take care of them seems to help.

Now if any of you have any good ideas how to talk me out of the clothes I have that I don't wear but am too cheap to toss go for it.

Sounds like someone has put a lot of work and effort into this. Thanks a lot. Truely. I really wish I could come but not in my budget unless I get some unexpected windfall. You all have a blast!

Wow you couldn't just work somewhere else? Sorry.(((Hug)))