LOL you all making me feel older than dirt. Sweet Dreams all of you.

Darlin only if the shoe fits. The guy is asking what it takes to get a date and that is an answer. Harsh? LOL Dating isn't for sissy's. Very competive game. If you are not wining it is probably because you don't know the rules and foul out.

Can a guy get a date?

I don't know can a guy do what is generally necessary ?

If he considers his profile as a dateing resume and actually puts up flattering smileing photos rather than an icon or something that wouldn't even pass as a DMV would help.

Most women don't expect a doctorial thesis but writing some of the interests that a date would actually be interested in shareing makes you sound like a lot more fun than a walk through a testosteron filled gym. Stateing the kind of woman you would find a little more interesting than a boty call doesn't hurt. Most women want to be liked for the individual they are.

Probably won't hurt to put on something a little more stylish than baggy pants, and undershirt, a baseball cap, and shades. What you make as a first impression is directly going to be linked to how you will be expected to show up for a date. Few women are going to be impressed with your toys that you share with the boys. A respecably clean car is a plus but we are "not in love with your car" and your wallet doesn't carry on a fun conversation. Pets are fine but unless you are planning to bring them on your date we really don't need to see them.

You might want to think about getting involved in something where you could invite a first time date besides your apartment. I don't know many women who would after a few casual and positve conversations who would turn down a date to a public venue to see a zoo, bowl, watch a highschool or community college event, play a few penny slots, wander a flea market, or have a dessert in a local mall but you will defintely establish yourself as a contender for her time if you ask her to meet you for a specific date a few days ahead. Or following up with a polite Thank you for her time and effort to be with you. Forgetting a date is a privilege not and entitlement will sink you before you ever get out of dry dock.

Stop the I am not a hunk junk and clean up your act. Having a fresh hair cut or what hair you have groomed with a little more style than cutting it so close it is barely there and a clean shave has proven it will up your odds. What is really more important to you? A few whiskers or getting cheek to cheek with a date? Buy a pair of clippers and clean up your hands and for heavens sake take them out of your pockets or making some stupid out dated hand gesture.

Next you might want to have something a little more socially acceptable and pleasantly memorable than some self loathing, boreing monicer that a half a dozen other guys have. If it wouldn't fly as your opening statement in another social setting don't use it on line. Doesn't hurt to actually have and ISP address that isn't going to load up her computer with pop-ups and spam or be associated with Scammers. Asking somone to look you up somewhere else is rude and stupid when there is plenty of competion right here. It is like saying you are too lame to talk to here. And it actually won't kill you to stay on site more than thirty seconds before you start whineing about how no body loves you.

And the IM feature. If someone doesn't invite you it is pretty good chance they don't want to talk to you. If they wanted to be interrupted in whatever conversation they were in they would send you at least a nudge.

Ya think? Why people don't get that being on forums and whineing about anything when they have had a bad day is dateing suicide?

I can't speak for anyone else but I take note of how people conduct themselves and if I am interested or am even considering them for someone else how someone deals with stress is critical.

I am so jealous!!!!!!!!!! Have so much fun. Don't do anything I wouldn't. And if you do oh please call me first and tell me all about it. (giggle & grin).

Hey CONGRATULATIONS! Enjoy your moment. ^5 to Mingle Family Love!



P.S.
Prove all the nay sayers full of Hooey!

Hey I have some fond memories of Kansas. Great BBQ's at the lakes, dances at the Armory, quarter mileing on country roads, and necking under some of the brightest moonlit skys draped with stars that seem so close you could almost touch them to mention a few. Middle of Kansas would be Salina. You kids have fun....giggle!

The ones that knock me out are the ones that sooner or later say "I love you so much and I just have to hear your voice". Please please call me at some number; they will always have a number (outside of any known USA area codes) "and I will pay you back".

Yea like that is EVER going to happen. They will re-route your phone call and your next phone bill will rival the national debt as several hundred calls are piggybacked on your call. And the phone company will make you pay because if you ever want phone service in your name again you will have to. Usually the phone company will settle on a negotiated amount, just enough to hurt in a big way, but you also have a charge off on your credit.

This among other cons happen on-line all the time folks so wise up. Not only send no money; send no gifts, tickets, no information, and pay no bills. All they need is basic information to ruin you.

And it doesn't just happen to the poor, not so smart, or less than desireable people. Nor will you always be able to catch these slick cons because some are extreamly literate.

I'm impressed and think your target audience will be too.

Reading this thread it is pretty clear that not only the people you bring into your life are out of control but so is your life.

At 22 years old you really are not being a bad guy to refocus your life on yourself. You have a job? OK but what would be wrong with putting a little energy into finding a career? Being sporadically unemployed/broke ars busted is a drag on the self esteem for anyone.

You said you are not eating or sleeping. That is not a good thing. It is hard to think clearly when your brain is deprived. Since this sounds like Depression symptoms I would suggest going to the National Alliance for Mentally Ill and finding someone to help you to assess and maybe resolve what is a big mountain to climb on your own.

Lonliness is tough. If you don't want to be lonely and like sports I can't strogly enough recommend Special Olympics, Big Brother's/Big Sister's, YWCA/YMCA, or community parks and recreation programs. Being a volunteer or even applying for sliding scale assistance can make things a lot more afforable.

Last but not least you might want to consider if you really have the skills to help someone with the personality problems you are describing? People who are this volitile and verbally abusive need professional help. You might want to be powerful enough to generate that kind of passion but if you were not the victim I assure you she would be taking that anger out on someone else. You mention several times how much you care about her so why not try staying out of her pants before you either accidently get her pregnant or get her killed by any one of her lovers past or present in a jealouse rage. Or get her arrested in a domestic violence episode that I will bet good money to bad is in her immediate future. Is it possible playing bed bouncy is affecting her rest and nutrition and access to medication? Yes. Can you stop her from doing it with others? You have already confessed you can't. But you could be one less.

Good luck.

Advice is sometimes consider the gift of friendship and other times it's doom. Sorry I don't know who said that but I have found it is true.

How I relate to people I want to be friends with is radically different than how I answer forums topics which often are asking opinions and advice. Since the majority of my friends I consider equals I don't see a need to give them advice, pay their bills, consider protecting their kids, or parenting/mentoring them .

I guess the bottom line is does someone consider something advice or and opinion or just conversation. If opinions matter to you and you take them personally be careful; choose the conversations you participate in, and make it clear what you do and do not want. If you can't take the feed back don't stand up in a public forum and shoot your mouth off in a way that will be offensive; even if it is in the guise of humor. Kind of the thing if you can't stand the heat stay out of the kitchen.

While it might be nice to trip down memory lane with a few people I have no desire to hear from every past person in my life either.

I have lived all over and coped with all kinds of people in a multitude of situations. Some that were a lot of fun and some well; were not. Even if you are considerate and respectful to people does not mean you always want to Ever see them again.

I am not saying it is the only way but my family relations are private. Period. Their trust, saftey, and privacy mean everything to me. While I can't control their actions I would not dream of putting information that could lead to their identity being known without their express permission, or otherwise being harmed.

Also when you work with the public, especially in something as intimate to them as client services relationships you want to be strictly professional can be intrusive, even unsafe if they just pop into your life or your extended family & friends circle uninvited.

Maybe I miss the concept or perks of some of the sites but mass communication just doesn't sound all that appealing.

Joining two lives usually means one person moving. Moving is EXPENSIVE. If you have never made a coast to coast move you do not have a clue how difficult it can be. How badly your move can go or how exhausting it will be.

Before I did it I would definitely have to take a trial run in the area say taking an apartment or going to maybe a semester at a local college. What is critical is I would be spending real time with his family, friends, career, and community. That is the ONLY way you are really going to know what you are getting yourself into.

I am retired so the job issue is out of the picture for me. I would advise against trashing your career/finances. With the economy tanking you could find yourself unemployed, unable to qualify for assistance, get medical care (not all insurance transfers), or unable to collect child support or other incomes for months. Money does not make the world go around but financial crisis can crush a relationship before it can even get up on it's feet. It can also cause unneccesary pressure on forceing a relationship that is not "working", and the hardship
that a failed relationship unrecoverable from.

For those of you that have never had to cope with "homelessness" a word to the wise is one of the leading reasons people find themselves homeless is that they have a failed relationship. Women even with children are finding themselves in the streets of America every night. This is not just and admonishment to women. Guys don't kid yourself you have a nasty breakup you can end up with no car, no place to stay, and maybe in jail trying to avoid prison. Be smart; keep a parachute.

Anyone considering a move should look at the other significant relationships in their lives and how they might cope if they could not get "home" if needed. Or if you have to bring and aged or seriously sick loved one to your "home" area. For instance not being able to take advantage of the assistance of siblings or supported living can be crushing for couples.

Excellent answer. ^5!

Why Darlin we are all just one big happy Mingle Family here. v











ROFLMFBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am sorry this happen to you. Take a virtual hug and hang in there.

I am sure when you get a little distance between you and this bad experience you will count your lucky stars that this louse showed his true colors as soon as he did.

I read your post a couple times and it sounds like he did a pretty good job of showing you what he wanted you to see and doing everything that would tend to let your defenses down and make you think he was into you.

With a little more time I think when you look back your view of the situation might change. You will see some of the red flags and learn from the experience. Like when commitment seems rushed. Ask your friends. How many of them have had guys that were all over their calander every day from the start? How many of your friends did you co-mingle the kids and meet their parents right off the bat? How does going out with the boys in the band compute with responsible , hard working, family man? Do you really know anyone who remained friends with someone who dumped them out of the blue? If it sounds too good to be true in a month it probably isn't.

Sure I am a great romantic at heart. It is fun to pop the cork on the champagne in our life and be happy. Just give it a little time to breath and take it in in little sips. Otherwise you will be gulping the pain of more sour experiences.

Better Luck next time. Don't give up.

Great smile in both photos but I would enlarge slightly and edit out more of the background.

Since statisticlly you have better odds with no beard and it is evidently not a deal breaker for you I would use that photo.

If you get a negative vibe to the beard on introduction you can make a significant gesture and offer to shave it at some point.

My personal opinion is beards are sexy and I would not dictate anyones personal shaving habits.

Of course. Among other gifts. I think flowers would not be right for every guy or every situation but if it suggests a very personal thing it can be a very good choice.

Example; on one of our trips my late husband doubled back, wadded into a stinking bog because I pointed out the cat tails to the kids. There after every fall we had a floral centerpiece that featured cat tails and he knew it was a compliment to his effort.

Honey enjoy the thrill. Get a journal and write it all down. Even in the best of relationships there will be moments when you will need to refresh the romance and reading these happy feelings will help. Also be a hoot when you are married 50 years and want to celebrate. CONGRATULATIONS!

Looks like someone is pretty good at photo suite and payback. I wish I could do that to the little punk they caught siphoning gas out of the poor little old folks in my neighborhood.