IMHO If you are in a committed relationship you have no business hanging out in a single date site even if it is just chatting in forums about generic topics.

The distraction and temptation my not be more than you can handle most days but there are days in every relationship where a partner will get on your last nerve or not be "everything" you need. That is all the rope you need to hang even a good relationship.

It does nothing to build the faith and trust of the person who is investing their time and emotions in you in person to walk so close to the edge so you are cutting your own relationship short which doesn't make sense to me.

It may not be possible to avoid ever firestorm in a relationship but it is a whole lot easier to maintain your boundries if you maintain a safe zone around the things and people in your life that are important.

It also seems really unfair to the people who are on a date site trying to make a connection.

What bugs me is when I make my best effort to act like a considerate adult woman and the guy acts like and obnoxious horney preadolecent brat and then jumps me for not having any sense of humor or being fridgid. Give me a break.

Maybe she was walking you through it because she thought you were good looking. Not all of us go for the built like a body builder types. And yes you are a good writer. You could try my work out routine; weeding the neighbors yards. Little hard on the arthritis but sure slims down the old body.

Comfort

Think You&I is on the right track. I don't sweat the small stuff like I used to. With experience you learn more what is just a temporary set back. Oh an the confident in the soul... yes, mind...most of the time; senior moment occassionally...body oh help me please lol

Hmmm all I got to say is don't bring a boy's body to do a man's job. OOPs you are talking cars??? Shucks then just about the same is true. Make it big, comfortable, confident, well insured, and enough muscle and style to make it a good ride wheather it is just a fast little run for the roses or an all night drive. Give mine a nice set of whitewalls, smooth leather, and plenty of polish in the metal. If he has to count penny's to buy gas at our age or impress the tree-huggers won't hold my attention.

I don't think I would call being a responsible father sexy but yes it does endear me to the Dad on other levels. Unless the child is grown and chroniclly refuses to provide his/her own necessities such a rent, food, gas, car, and basic furnishings by sustaining at least a full time job. I am not about to deal with a situation where a man defines being a parent as setting on his can and letting adult children being over grown brats that wear him out. Please note this does not include an adult child who is recovering from a crisis not of their making or fleeing a recently abusive situation. Famiies are suppose to help but if a guy expects me to put up with unending drama/poverty because he refuses to put his foot down he has lost his mind.

Boy's are easy until they get a nose full of the girls then they are gone. Girls are somewhat the same until the kids come along then they come back. Sadly now days it is often with a bum boyfriend.

If someone asks me for my phone number I expect that person to call me with in 24 hours or when he says he will. Since I don't live to answer the phone at someone else's whim someone that plays around that way is really wasting my time and theirs.

When my oldest son was a very ill infant I used to sense someone being around and family said it was his namesake. Sure hope he is looking out for him now he is in military.

Yea I have seen "Homes" where you get very bad vibes and I usually just back off being with the people. I won't waste my time dateing someone who will never show me where/how they live. It tells me too much about who they really are.

I am not a cat person but sorry for your sad experience.

Sounds to me like a normal territorial response to an intruder. Animals intinctively know that there is only so many animals that can live in a certain space and remain healthy. They don't understand that you are going to compensate for the additional demands. The younger cat was just defending her survivial.

I would not get a substitute kitten for a while. Death of a pet teaches children a lot about bonding and greiveing experiences and you don't want to give them the idea that individual living creatures are so easily replaced. Since you have already buried the pet I would suggest geting a small plant or resin animal and let the children establish a memorial with you. They will take their cues from how you deal with this loss. I would try to keep it together and not over dramatize the situation or you may turn your children off from wanting pets.

Before you get too angry at your other cat I would remember it is entirely possible that the kitten just died and the older cat was just playing with the corspe.

Try not to be too hard on yourself about all this. Things happen when you least expect. Sounds like you are a great Mom and a loving person over all. Sending a hug to help you.

If you are and independent woman and can afford nice things for yourself, occassionally you will find a guy who is intimidated by that. If he is that insecure, jealouse, or just plain selfish then you don't need him.

If someones Spelling or Grammer is not great it doesn't necessarily make them a scammer. English is not the first language in many peoples homes and not every person has had the privilege of a good public education.

I would be more careful if the person no matter how they present it want you to do something for them more than just talk and meet in a safe and public place after a reasonable amount of time.

If they are asking questions they have no need to know; your personal bussiness info or telling you a sob story how it just is not their fault that they can't sustain themself then deleat them.

You are a bit young to really qualify as hot too me but you have a nice body that would look better in something more flattering than the t-shirt. 9

Rate your profile as well written and interesting but doesn't seem like you give a lot to respond to for interests as well as you did with your values. 9

Overall I think you present yourself well and inneract in a congenial way. 10

Good Luck. Welcome to the playpen.

I personally think you have no choice on what you remember. You brain pulls up things and maybe there is something you can use from it for experience but it doesn't have to define you unless you choose to make it so. If you hurt from an experience you prove two things. First you can still feel and the second is you can learn from it because it was significant enough to stand out in your mind.

If you find yourself repeating the same mistakes you need to take a little while and think about the payoff for doing that. Because I believe that is why people do things. They repeat what works for them even if it doesn't seem to work to others.

Occassionally what worked one time of our life doesn't later so maybe this is your time to change if it isn't working now.

I know for myself my worst decisions about relationships are ones where I rush into something and ignore what my instinctive voice tells me about people. Sometimes the fairest thing you can do for others is being fair to yourself and take your time to gather the knowledge about what you are getting lined to get into. If you allow people to use you it only hurts them also because it may seem like they get ahead but morally they slide further down the ladder.

Some relationships fall out but if you are honest and respectful toward the person and tell them the truth at least you allow them to have their dignity. That helps everyone move on and be healthy.

OMG yes More than one mate at a time is just too much to deal with.

If it takes a pill I think I will pass. Rather pick between flavors of ice cream.

It is pretty much impossible to work out other people's complication's until you get good at clearing your own.

The idea of seeking out a highly qualified pediatrician physchologist at a children's hospital is excellent. Comprehensive testing can identify any number of problems from Learning disabilities, to diabetes, thyroid problems, to allergies, brain tumor, to chemical imbalances, or hidden substance abuse including aspixiation to huffing.

That different medications do have different results with different people. What helps one will make another violent or hullucinate. Dalmane frequently prescribed for rest and even depression actually gives people night terrors (a CNS reaction) and sleep deprivation from never fully getting into deep sleep can make depression even worse.

Since critical brain developement occurs in adolecence and the body has dramatic hormone shifts the results of medication are much harder to research and predict.

The makers of Zoloft give potential candidates an excellent video on how the brain processes seritonin if for no other reason it helps to understand how the brain works.

The National Alliance For the Mentally Ill also has extreamly helpful free materials and peer support groupes of both consumers, professionals, and families. NAMI is online.

I am a firm believer in medication having a place but not being the whole deal. I think exercise, diet, allergies, and thyroid have major implications. Caffine is a big no no for me. I find it very interesting that depression peaks around the holidays where caffine laden drinks and chocolate dominate.

The thing that I think is critical is to empower your child to be his own healer by letting him develope his own understanding of what depression is, how common it is, how treatable it is, and to some degree making his own decisions about who he wants to work with as a treatment team.

I wish you well and encourage you to be hopeful.