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| Topic: Dating Advice, please | |
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Kk...hello everyone...here is my dilemma...I have just recently started dating my ex, and I have a few problems with the advice given by counsel...We are not in a typical relationship as we have a kid together, but have been separated for 5 yrs...
the rundown: he has already been to my house, slept overnight, due to traveling to see the kid, knows my parents, friends, family...I know this guy very well, and he will not attempt to manipulate me emotionally or in a sexual manner...My questions are, do we really need to involve ourselves in group dates...quite honestly, our church doesn't even have singles events for those over 30, and we are no rookies and don't need the accountability...in my opinion. other factors are that he is native Guatemalan and therefore Spanish is his primary language...he doesn't mind going places or hanging out with my friends; he does speak English, probably not as much Spanish as I speak, but still...I am more comfortable going with his friends, church etc, just because I understand more than he does at my church etc...I know his intentions are to be married, but we both know we need to guard our hearts... so I guess my question is...in a situation as such, how many of these godly dating guidelines should one really follow. |
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Just follow your Heart my dear!!!
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if you are looking for permission to break rules, you will find some people willing to tell you it's ok. thing is, if you are seeking validation, then your heart is already telling you that you are not doing something you should be doing. you belong to a church that has rules, so you should follow them. that's why you are a member there. if you don't like the rules, find a church that allows you to do what you want to do, so you wont have a heavy heart. or, be an adult, and follow the rules that you know are there. instead of asking a bunch of random people on the internet, take this matter to your priest, rabbi, pastor, or whoever is in charge of the church you are a member of. even an elder in your church would assist you. i guarantee i guarantee that if this relationship is going to last, you need a solid foundation built on trust in each other. build your house on solid ground girl. godspeed, bulldog
(bulldog double guarantee - patent pending) |
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It's really pretty easy. In every situation, ask yourself "What is the right thing to do?", then do what you think is right.
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If you have a child together, and you are just friends that is strange. You should be married, if you find the need to still date this man.
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Well, it is clear you are questioning the moral templates you are prescribing too! Why not experiment and see what "feels" right rather than being led by your nose by others who have their own dysfunction to cope with.
You are trying to follow a rulebook that by the standards set by the church are already sinning. Relationships out of wedlock are supposed to be a sin. How about this idea. Toss the bible aside and just try what you have been afraid to and see if it feels better. I am not advocating going to the other side...  . Just feel new things out without committing to them. Think of it as a test drive for relationships!
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Just follow your Heart my dear!!! |
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As I'm not religious, I can't fully understand, so instead, I'll ask which one you want to invest more time in the most. Would you prefer to work on your relationship and put that first? Or would you prefer to put god first? It's perfectly okay which ever one you choose. As in the end, we end up dying alone with our decisions. We make our own lives.
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A heart breaking isn't always as loud as a bomb exploding.. Sometimes it can be as quiet as a feather falling.. And the most painful thing is, no one really hears it, except you..
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Kk...hello everyone...here is my dilemma...I have just recently started dating my ex, and I have a few problems with the advice given by counsel...We are not in a typical relationship as we have a kid together, but have been separated for 5 yrs... the rundown: he has already been to my house, slept overnight, due to traveling to see the kid, knows my parents, friends, family...I know this guy very well, and he will not attempt to manipulate me emotionally or in a sexual manner...My questions are, do we really need to involve ourselves in group dates...quite honestly, our church doesn't even have singles events for those over 30, and we are no rookies and don't need the accountability...in my opinion. other factors are that he is native Guatemalan and therefore Spanish is his primary language...he doesn't mind going places or hanging out with my friends; he does speak English, probably not as much Spanish as I speak, but still...I am more comfortable going with his friends, church etc, just because I understand more than he does at my church etc...I know his intentions are to be married, but we both know we need to guard our hearts... so I guess my question is...in a situation as such, how many of these godly dating guidelines should one really follow. I don't really understand that question- are you saying you are having a hard time being a hypocrite? |
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Edited by
2Keith
on
Mon 11/19/12 11:19 AM
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Kk...hello everyone...here is my dilemma...I have just recently started dating my ex, and I have a few problems with the advice given by counsel...We are not in a typical relationship as we have a kid together, but have been separated for 5 yrs... the rundown: he has already been to my house, slept overnight, due to traveling to see the kid, knows my parents, friends, family...I know this guy very well, and he will not attempt to manipulate me emotionally or in a sexual manner...My questions are, do we really need to involve ourselves in group dates...quite honestly, our church doesn't even have singles events for those over 30, and we are no rookies and don't need the accountability...in my opinion. other factors are that he is native Guatemalan and therefore Spanish is his primary language...he doesn't mind going places or hanging out with my friends; he does speak English, probably not as much Spanish as I speak, but still...I am more comfortable going with his friends, church etc, just because I understand more than he does at my church etc...I know his intentions are to be married, but we both know we need to guard our hearts... so I guess my question is...in a situation as such, how many of these godly dating guidelines should one really follow. NONE! Don't do it. It did not last for a reason. If you have to "guard your hearts" then a red flag is waving frantically. |
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I'll be honest. I was confused reading the post about this situation. And that leads me to believe that you are confused as well. Things you stated in your post made me feel that you two are a train wreck waiting to happen. I feel that if two people can be together and they want to be together, then guess what?.....They should be together.
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I gotta agree with Goof, Kieth, and Rich.
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I don't understand what you are asking.
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if you are looking for permission to break rules, you will find some people willing to tell you it's ok. thing is, if you are seeking validation, then your heart is already telling you that you are not doing something you should be doing. you belong to a church that has rules, so you should follow them. that's why you are a member there. if you don't like the rules, find a church that allows you to do what you want to do, so you wont have a heavy heart. or, be an adult, and follow the rules that you know are there. instead of asking a bunch of random people on the internet, take this matter to your priest, rabbi, pastor, or whoever is in charge of the church you are a member of. even an elder in your church would assist you. i guarantee i guarantee that if this relationship is going to last, you need a solid foundation built on trust in each other. build your house on solid ground girl. godspeed, bulldog (bulldog double guarantee - patent pending) Most excellent answer |
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fOLLOW BIBLE INSTRUCTIONS.. Specially no sex.
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