Friends with benefits, also known as FWB, is a casual relationship. To put it simply, a two-way booty call. It’s supposed to be fun and sex, and no one should be thinking of a future together or catching feelings. Though those are the rules of this engagement, let’s face it, people are complicated. In some relationships, people end up breaking these rules.
What started as meeting on free online dating sites for casual hook up evolves into something more. Whether you want to take the relationship to the next level, it’s up to you and your bed buddy. But if you want to know you are heading into murky FWB relationship waters, you can watch out for the following signs.
The Relationship Has Left the Bedroom
Do you find yourself spending more and more time with your FWB during their free time and yours? It is a clear sign the relationship is changing. Strictly speaking, an FWB should be confined to the bedroom. If you find yourself going bowling, hiking, or some other fun sport that he or she likes, things might be a sign that the relationship is turning into more.
Ideally, as an FWB, you are spending more time for sex but nothing more. If the hanging out stops being just about sex, then something has changed. If you or your FWB have started planning life around each other, it is also a clear indication of a new dimension arising in the relationship.
Increased Texting and Calling Frequency
When looking for a casual relation on online dating sites, you indicate your preference and receive like-minded matches. When you start meeting, conversations and calls are brief to set up a time for sex. If you have noticed an increase in the frequency of calls and texts, you can be suspicious that you or your FWB is developing feelings.
The conversation can also evolve to topics that have nothing to do with sex. If they just call to check in and see how you are doing, how your day was, or what you ate for breakfast, there is a chance that it is turning into more. At this stage, if you share the same feelings, you can be honest or choose to end the engagement if you do not reciprocate them.
You Travel Together
Have you taken a trip together with an FWB? Did you know that traveling together with a person is the greatest compatibility test? If you are traveling around the world with a casual lover, it is the greatest indication there is something more. You can have an honest conversation about this aspect of the relationship to avoid complications.
You Share Passionate Looks
Eyes display a lot of emotions. If you look at your FWB, you can tell if they are happy or sad even without saying a word. The eyes tell a lot about a person. They can also display passion. This look goes beyond the intense gaze during sex or lustful desire when you see each other across a room.
If share longing silent frequently looks outside the bedroom, it’s a sign there could be more. You also have those silent moments with hidden emotions; your FWB could be evolving.
One thing that is not very common in FWB is passionate kissing. It is a warm-up to sex, like taking an appetizer before a heavy meal. Research shows that kissing is key when you are in love. It expresses heartfelt emotions.
If you or FWB are evolving into something more, you will notice the change when kissing. It becomes more intimate and passionate. It is simply not an act to impress or please you in bed, but because they cannot help but express their heartfelt emotions.
You Know His or Her Friends
If you probably met your FWB on one of the free dating sites, you started not having friends in common. If you have met his friends during the relationship and they have met yours, it is a clear sign that this is no longer a casual hookup. You do not bring a bed buddy to an event where your friends and family will be if you are not invested in that relationship.
Additionally, the FWB can also be telling his good things about you. When talking with the girls, you also rarely talk about him. If he is talking to his friends repeatedly about you, it could be an indication of a new shift in the relationship.
Knowing Little Things About Each Other
One important rule in a friend with benefits relationship is not talking about yourself too much. This way, you will avoid developing an emotional connection. If you are at a point where you know each other’s dating history, then maybe you need to revisit this rule and adjust the trajectory of the relationship.
If you know each other’s favorite meals, family woes, and favorite movies, you are also probably spending too much time together. Also, if your FWB remembers tiny details that you shared about yourself when you met on a dating site, it’s a clear indication he or she wants you to know that they do. It is one of the clear ways of telling someone has feelings for you.
You Miss Each Other
It’s okay to miss the physical intimacy that you share. It’s also not a bad thing if an FWB says they miss getting down with you. However, when they start to miss you as a person, there is a shift in the relationship. If the way he used to compliment you also changes, it’s an indication of something more.
You’ve Ended other Casual Relationships
If you were still exploring top free dating websites for potential relationships and this stops, it’s an indication that the casual relationship is becoming something more. If you have also ended other relationships with this person, then you need to think about the real reason.
FWB relationships are casual, and jealousy should never be part of the equation. If you want to know you or your FWB are turning into something more, jealousy is a clear indication. Once jealousy creeps in, it’s very hard to control. Though if you do not share the same feelings with your casual lover, you may also fail to notice these signs.
Naturally, we tend to pay close attention to someone or something where we are crazy about them. It allows you to be super sensitive towards them, and you avoid hurting them at all costs. With an FWB, you do not care about them to that extent or beyond the bedroom. So, if you are going out of your way to being considerate, there is a chance your relationship has evolved into something else.
Gifts are Involved
People do not give each other gifts for no reason. If you are a lady buying your FWB gifts, it is a clear indication that you want him to see you more than his casual fling. Guys also do not buy gifts for a girl he deems a casual hook-up. If he starts buying each other gifts, then it’s because you are no longer just bed buddies, and you are eager to shake things up in the relationship.
You Have Pet Names
One thing that people in a relationship do is develop pet names for each other which is seen as cute and sweet. However, in a casual relationship, doing that can be seen as clingy and completely unusual. It can also be a warning sign to your FWB that you want to make it into something else. If they are uninterested in doing so, it can cause them to end the relationship.
However, if both of you have started using pet names for each other, it could indicate a change in the relationship dynamic. Endearment and pet names clearly show a deeper relationship.
There’s a Change in How You Compliment Each Other
Casual relationships have an over-the-surface compliment. Probably they’ll the same phrases as they did when you met on a free dating website. They may say your dress looks great on you. However, when someone starts to grow fond of you, they appreciate more than just your appearance.
As you fall in love with someone, you notice how they smile, tell stories or interact with other people. As a result, you compliment them on these small things about their life. If you have noticed the compliments from your FWB are about your personality and quirks, then the person may want to turn the relationship into a real thing.
You Have Discussed the Future
If there is a dead giveaway to the status of a relationship, it’s talking about the future. Once you start a casual relationship with someone, you lay all the cards on the table. Making it clear there is no future involved. However, if the relationship grows and becomes more intimate, you can start talking about your future plans.
If they continuously involve you in these plans, it can indicate this is no longer a casual fling. The plans can be in a month or two; however, this is enough to indicate the direction your partner wants the things to go.
FWBs who start making plans are a casual way of gauging your interest in the relationship. When you are willing to commit to a future event with them, it can show your interest in hanging around. When this happens frequently, then your partner can assume you are in the relationship to stay.
You Spend Time Together Without Sex
A friend with benefits is a physical relationship. If you spend time with your bed buddy without sex, the relationship can no longer be defined as such. When nights out change from going to clubs to staying in the house binging on your shared favorite show, you might say the FWB phase is over. You might as well start talking about what relationship has evolved into.
Sex is More Comfortable and Intimate
When having sex with a casual lover, you may go out of your way to make the experience memorable. However, when it starts turning into something else, you are more comfortable with each other like an old couple. Though the sex may still be hot, it is also passionate and comfortable.
You Want to Impress Each Other
After meeting on a top dating site and agreeing to a casual relationship, it is normal not to keep putting on the best appearance. However, if you start falling for each other, you start doing things that will show the other person how awesome you are. He can start cooking for you, buying you a toothbrush for his place when you spend the night, and a few other things that show you that you are wanted.
You Get the Feeling “They Want to Ask Something”
It’s hard to keep things hidden when you really like a person that you see regularly. As a result, you will notice them start to say something looking at you with their puppy dog eyes, and then change their minds. Since most are worried about being rejected, they are afraid to come out outright and ask.
They’ve Asked Straight Up
Sometimes you do not need a sign to know if your FWB wants to change things. If it’s a mutual connection and they have noticed some of the signs that we have highlighted, they may have come out boldly asked you to date them.
Dating is an exciting experience, and there are various types of relationships that you can explore. However, when in a friend with benefits relationship, you have to be cautious and follow the rules to avoid heartbreak. If you suspect the FWB is turning into something more, you can have a conversation with your bed buddy to evaluate the situation.