haveu tried seeking other single parents/men who also have kids

or who object to you having them? don't worry about the rest

As the saying goes, been there, done that and so on... :)
I met a couple of people but my daughter wasn't around until I got to know the person better and see what they were like with and without their children. Most were at a different point in the brake up then I was. They asked for feedback and I was objective and shared some of my story. It helped me to understand from a fathers veiw.


ya I know what you mean
I have a been there done that attitude toward some stuff too

I guess it's harder when kids are young- I've heard people say they just leave the kids out if it unless it gets
serious (my choice) - as far as meeting each other's kids

I've also heard guys say that they like women w; kids when they are responsible moms because it shows they are responsible to those they care for


As I mentioned before, I got to know them before I would even think of bringing my daughter around them. As strange as it might sound, some of my new found friends didn't even meet my daughter at all. We hung out and chatted when I was able to get a night to myself. Some would spend time with us but it was like I had 2 children in the house.. lol

Thanks Goofball, when I hear about stories like yours, it gives me hope to not give up on finding the right one. I didn't know my father until I was 13 and the guys that my mom had hanging around weren't what most would think as role models unless it was about who could make the biggest @ss of themselves when drinking. There weren't many single parent families where I grew up, most stayed together through think and thin because that's what marriage ment to them. My daughter is 9 and she knows who her father is and that's not going to change. Before we moved 800 km away from him, he was only spending time with her so he could try to find out who I was talking with. (He admitted that after we moved.) I got as much legal advice as I could possibley get and I made him aware of it all but it didn't do much. Anyways, I know it's easier on the child if the parents can still get along for the most part. We didn't deal with the courts, I just wanted and still want to move on with my life and still be the mother that I always was. I don't know what it's like to have someone in our lives that's there for the both of us (he brought in the paycheck so his day was done as soon as he walked in the door and when i worked, he seemed even more ticked off about it) and I'm not scared to get out into the world and support myself and my child. I guess it'll be nice to find someone who wants the same things as much as I do but I can't help to still think about it.  

As the saying goes, been there, done that and so on... :)
I met a couple of people but my daughter wasn't around until I got to know the person better and see what they were like with and without their children. Most were at a different point in the brake up then I was. They asked for feedback and I was objective and shared some of my story. It helped me to understand from a fathers veiw.

What everyone has said makes sense. :) I made friends with people that had children and others who claimed that they love being single(but complained that they would never find the right one). I took the time to get to know the person and understand why they thought what they did and it then explained their actions better. Through all of what I was going through, I still found the time to have a life and be a good mother.

From what I have learned in two years of talking with different single parents was the fact that they didn't have much time. Which I could understand because of my own circumstance but I figured out how to make the time

I tried that, but got tired of hearing how the other parent was more to blame, even though they shared how their own actions lead to the brake-up as well. Maybe they just weren't ready to leave their pasts behind them yet. Hopefully one day they will. :)

Thanks for the imput. Just having a few as friends was more then enough for me to handle.. lol

Why would any of this offend me. I've never been nor do I plan on resorting to any tactics to be with anyone. I had one friendship brake-down all because I didn't prefer to wear jeans, if you can believe that.. lol Then the same guy had the nerve to start stalking me because I lost interest after the whole jean thing. I met him shortly after my relationship ended with my childs father. I told this guy that I was only interested in friendship and he was ok with it for a few months but then started to develop feelings and I couldn't hurt him like that. This guy even moved 5 blocks from where I lived at the time. So I dealt with his stalking and my ex's harassment at the same time. Maybe this is why I'm starting to loose faith in finding someone.
I know what makes me unique, I'm not self-centred, I can and will stand up for myself(when I need to), I actually listen when someone is talking with me and give feedback based on what I hear, I accept responsibility for my actions and if I have ever hurt anyone around me, then I accept the consequences of my actions. :) I don't play mind games and I say what I mean. example My yes, means yes and my no, means no. Sorry, did I mention that I really love writing.. lol.. btw, I've seen how a few females act and it turns my stomach, I guess that's why I prefer male friends. No offence to any females on here, I was just speeking from the gf that I used to know. :)
Thanks for your thoughts, they are appreciated.

that's the fun part about being a parent, children change the way that life is. I've juggled being single and being a mother and putting it all together. I've always been very independent, even when I was in a relationship. I don't want to loose that part nor do I except to find someone who thinks that they will loose that part of their life. I've been at this for two years already, my daughter does come first and I did find some friends or so I thought but the friendships were short lived. I work out a lot and I'm staying in good shape as well. I'm getting my new career off and started but at the end of the day it would just be nice to share a few things with an adult. I can only share so much with my daughter. Thanks for your opionion. It's appreciated. :)

Thanks, that's what I've been thinking about. :)

It just seems like guys are fine with the single part but not the mother part.

And it's an interesting word.. :)

I would like to here some honest opioions on this. I've been able to give this advice but when I try to follow it myself, I hasn't worked out to well. Maybe I'm just to hard on myself or maybe I'm just thinking that one day it could possibly happen for me, like I've seen it happen for others. I'm a single mother and I guess I'm just wondering why a single guy would want to try to start a relationship with someone that has a child. I've been through a lot over the last couple of years and over coming the hardest times is what helped to makes me stronger. I would like to be in a relationship once again but to even try and meet someone new is a challenge for me. I just can't figure out why a guy would want to date a single mother. Can anyone explain this a little, please. Thanks :)

It all depends on what your situation is and what you are looking for. If all you are looking for is sex then basically that's all it's going to be. I'm sure when you find the one that you are looking for, then it will be more then the sex. I kinda know what you are going through in a way because I've talked with a few people that have gone through it to.

I want to ask so many questions but I'm not sure if I want to hear the answers.. I just love being in the middle of the rock and the hard place.. :)

Speeking from my own experience, it's a tough thing to go through. The emotional rollercoaster itself is hard to keep stable. What I did was find a parenting after separation course. Her father and I attended it together so we were both able to ask whatever questions we wanted to and the other could hear the response from the lawyer and counselor that were there. In my case I was dealing with someone who couldn't handle the change in our relationship and the stress from him was building up too much. Anyways, we started to find a common ground, in some ways. The toughest part on me was dealing with his harassment through the whole process, I always tried to redirect the answers to our child. We were suppose to keep her routine as normal as possible and the rules were suppose to be the same at both places. I turned to the proffessionals for advice and he turned to family and friends, which only made matters worse and our daughter started developing a worse attitude then before. It was tough to still try to be parents together when he wasn't much help in the relationship when we were still together. My family was more involved with our life then his was and all of a sudden his family had all of the answers, so I had to step in and stop the negativity that was going on. I made phone calls abs let my daughter talk with who ever she wanted to and I was willing to take her for visits but plans always changed and I got tired of trying so hard. No one would barely call to see how she was doing but I still kept busy with her and found out who my real friends were through that tough time. This went on for a year and a half but his harassment got to be to much for me to deal with, so a few months ago my daughter and I moved and starting over with barely nothing has been a blessing for both of us. I'm dealing with the emotional scares and he calls when he has the time to spare to talk with his child. The courts are only involved as far as the child support goes and he's finally realizeing that child support is more important then gambling the money away. I'm moving on with our life and continued on with my education so I'll be able to provide more stability for us. I have never let our daughter feel as if any of this was her fault and she's starting to make more new friends now. It wasn't easy but we are getting there. I hope that some of this might help you.
As long as they don't put their son in the middle of any of their disputes and he knows that he's able to express how he is feeling, that's the most important part.

I know what you mean. I was a stay at home mother for years and I didn't mind putting my dreams on hold. We found ways to make ends meet. In my case, when I took on a part time job, it bothered her father to the point of, I had to give it up. After so many years of it, I had enough and now I'm a single mother, doing the best that I can to support myself and our daughter. At least now, I can continue with my education and I still juggle everything else that I need to. Braking away has given me my idependence back and it'll just keep getting better and better. I delt with everyone saying that I wasn't able to do so many things but now I'm doing it all just like before but at least I don't have the arguments to deal with anymore. Still have a lot to figure out but that's just apart of life. My daughter seems to be happier so that's all that matters. It took awhile for me to find the right people who understand where I'm at in my life and they all know how grateful I am for finding them. I still joke around from time to time by saying that prisoners had more freedom then I did and unless someone has been in the same situation then they just don't understand it. It's not right that us females seem to need to prove ourselves more just to get by but that just seems to be the way that it is.

Social.. I can talk with anyone, about anything.. Sometimes it turns out to be a hazard and other times it turns out to be halarious
Personal.. I have been blessed with a wonderful daughter.. :) and a some what supporitive family who has helped out when they could.. I have also been very lucky when it comes to finding new friends to chat with.. One day I'll be lucky enough to also find the one who wants to share our happiness with us.. :)
Proffessional.. My career path has changed but it's moving in a great direction and the outlook is going to be a great one.. Follow dreams because it's possible for them to come true.. :)

32.. Keep asking questions and usually get a different answer everytime.. :)
That's what makes life so interesting. :)

And you did. :)