As to the question of military spouse's being abusive I have to say that the military community officially and culturally have a zero tolerance for spouse/child abuse.

A military spouse who even appears to be neglected or abused to chain of command has and extensive package of protections and resources that they can turn to. The FIRST thing a dependent is breifed on and has reiterated with every assignment is where and how to access these protections by virtually telling anyone 24/7/365.

Protections that basiclly force a service member into out of the home houseing, constant supervision, and into counseling until an investigation has been compleated and the family is deemed safe. There are resources to return the family to Home of Records and afford support and you do not ever have to worry about collecting a child support order for a dependant child as long as the member is in service.

While a girlfriend or live in parent does not get services if a civilian goes to the local Adjudent General and can show anything that appears to be abuse a service member will be in so much trouble you can just about guarantee you will never see them off post/base again.

Something to keep in mind before you move in with a service member and then get into a situation that they don't have to pay the rent because they have the right to abandon a lease when ordered in. Something local landlords do not like and can make you a black sheep when it comes to finding future houseing and or getting to marry another service member. Keep in mind any service member does have to permission of Chain of Command to marry and ignoreing their counsel can have some nasty results.

I don't know how I would feel as a younger woman because I do not see a significant difference between any of the services and I liked being a military wife. Maybe because I had a good military husband that I will say first and formost is not as rare as some might think.

But in all honesty I purposely did not seek another military spouse because I never again wanted to put the majority of my life on "hold" every time duty called to come up empty handed by a spouse that ended up Rif'd shortly before retirement. I felt betrayed as I am sure any "unemployed" wife would feel.

But I also felt like my country betrayed not only my husband, who was and exempliar soldier by the Army's on declaration, but my family, my children, and myself who made years of sacrifice going where we were sent good, bad, or otherwise to end up dumped (without even a prorated retirement) because of some obscene rule that said if there was no place to promote him that he could not simply keep doing the same good job at any other position in the military laterally or even a demotion in responsibility. I was furious that the country was deprived of his extensive experience and devotion and we were deprived of the security we had planned our whole lives around. That we had no rights to fight it seemed obscene.

I know our "situation" is not unique as are the hardships of younger military families and I think young people see that and it makes them question wheather getting involved with a military member is worth the sacrifice. Many bases are closed, houseing is all but a thing of the past, and many of the "perks" are a disgrace.

And that does not even touch the fact that it is a very dangerous occupation that discharges the dependent veteran with what is basicly a frozen earning potential for the rest of his life which computes to poverty because many injuries happen to young soldiers with minimal rank and very little time in service.

Even soldiers that are suppose to return to their "jobs" are coming home to an economy that doesn't have jobs or affordable houseing for them.

Sadly many just don't want to sign up for that. Is is unfair? Yea but I don't know how we can fix it.

Giff if that is what makes you happy that is cool. I just always remember the line "becareful what you wish for you might get it". Good Luck.

Where do you buy buffalo? I haven't seen that in any of the major food chains? Nor deer meat which is great and great for you.

Too funny OP YEAAAAA! If more women would speak out I think we might get offered better.

I swear I am ready to give up and start sewing again but a lot of the fabric you can find is garbage too. Then when you do you can't match thread, binding, or zippers, and buttons because what is reordered is done by what comes up on a computer that says it was sold in the last 12 weeks rather than experienced instore buyers.

Garments with such poor fit and construction, Zero style, and miserably uncomfortable it is no wonder some people give up and wear Pajama's or their next cousin colored undershirts and knit shorts.

Maybe that is what we (I am guilty too) get for buying imported clothes at throw away prices from "slave" labor. I know people all over the south in particular that would be glad to go back to work making quality clothing if people would buy "Made in America". Think of all the oil we could save if we didn't ship our raw materials out to have them shipped back in.

I think cooking may be a vanishing art form. Sad very sad. Especially when all you have to do is follow directions in a cook book or on most packages. Oh well.

Made a 14 lb. turkey today while playing on the computer. Now with the Microwave many easy zap and eat meals and low AC bills. Yea!

I can take anything someone else can dish out. I cut my teeth on a Master before I ever got my first bra. Especially if it is some lame generalization or name calling they can't back up with reasoning or facts it isn't going to land on me. I know what I am and how I treat people and I sleep real good.

If the rare time someone has a point I will tell them so: check myself; and even apoligize.

If they don't most of the time I won't bother argueing with a fool. lol Maybe if I am really bored but after hearing excuses and pity pot stories for 30+ years very little of it is entertaining or believable. Well sometimes it is funny how lame some folks excuses are can sometimes be funny. It's like how can someone, especialy the ones who think they are really smart or cool, come up with such b-o-l-o-g-n-e.

Since I try not to be any more harsh than is absolutely necessary to get the point across not that many people dish out a lot of "stuff" my direction. Maybe a little huff and puff as they back out but nothing significant.

I totally agree with those who suggest being harsh is necessary or just fair game for being dumb. Ugly is ugly and doesn't pass. Sooner or later Karma catches up with people. A well worded compliment is always more productive. The loaf remark seems unneccesarily cruel and not all the funny when it was directed at a individual.

People who ask for "approval" for harmful behavior; especially where a kid is involved are so NOT going to like what I have to say because I will call that out.

People who pop off on-line and ask for opinions in open forums should have to be big enough to listen to the responses but it is surpriseing the ones who can't.

It is not a bad profile. Maybe a little sad but given your situation, which I credit you for being honest about, may have something to do with the tone. You have a great smile but the lighting in your photos has a depressing shadow to most of them.

The relationship you describe sounds a little smoothering to me and I would like a very close relationship.

You speak of fidelity and I can tell you it is not possible to be close enough to a partner to know if they are being faithful or not. They will find someone somehow to to cheat if that is what they are about.

One thing I think will guarantee infidelity is making someone feel like they have no choice to be faithful. They will live down to that expectation as assureadly as many will live up to trust.

I think the quote was something to do about the Mafia originally but with some romances, either sex, it sounds plausible. Hopefully no body on Mingle. But you never know....(eeeK)

Yea...the big cushy pit sofas you can snuggle up in. Remember the wave sofa's that were popular in the seventies? Now those were fun to "play" on.

This concept is fine until the kids grow up and move on with lives of their own that only occasionally include you. Yes they are still your children and matter a lot but your life will be very lonely.

My experience is a partner that has a relationship that is one extream or the other "I have to be everything in your life" or "the kids must always be first" usually has been raised in one extream or the other. Balance is a better concept in my opinion.

I don't think the Fed's are afraid of me. They just watch because somebody has to do it. Kind of makes me wonder how they screwed up to get such a boreing job.

Well if you MUST know the person I am interested in is on a business trip. That and still kind of bummed the Princess passed away this week. Besides you all are good company. Shall I pass the chips?

Don't have one but considering a delicate little rose in a spot rarely seen. As much as I hate needles that is monumental.

Well might not be fair to the guy.

I have talked to a lot of people over the years about their relationships and it just doesn't take that long for a person to come to a conclusion as to wheather they are attracted and decideing wheather a relationship is worth pursueing or not. Doesn't mean jump into sex, living together, or running down the aisle; which I always advise against: but, if you see someone every day for a week and you you are hearing "I want you to give me your time/feelings when I want it but I am also going to date other women." I beleive that is the ultimate of selfishness and your que to say I deserve better.

I know what you mean. I sometimes wonder if when you put your suitcases down if you suddenly become invisable. I live in a relatively big city so it can't be numbers. I can't figure it out; guys a thousand miles or more away are pleading for me to give them a chance but local guys won't put forth so much as a grunt. I thought mybe it was a local thing because I have never experienced this anywhere else I have lived.

Going to be in the triple digits so probably hide indoors or down at the pool. Really bites. Much rather be outdoors having fun. Being single is so boreing.

I am surprised by the responses.

It seems like I get what I feel are very intrusive questions from people on line. As if going out on a date is some huge deal that I have to qualify for.

Perhaps it is the age difference or that my stated desire is to have marriage as a very long term goal but I am amazed how many people make a coffee date feel more like a police investgation. Or prequalifying for a morgage.

Since I am self sustaining and my children grown and independent for a long time I found it rather surpriseing.

Looking at your profile I see a pretty gal ten years this guy's junior that has a different dating design that this guy says he has.

While you might be into him; he is not that into you or he would not have told you he wants to date others. That would be the farthest thing from his mind.

The comments about doing things together probably are his intention but it only means you are suitable to hang out with until he finds someone he really wants. You deserve better but don't think it is going to be with this guy as his "companion" which you can bet he is telling his friends he is getting something off of you even if he isn't.

When he finds something he really wants you will be forgotten.

Unless you as the visable girlfriend and her as the private one.

Sorry this guy sounds like the kind that has gotten away with this in the past and so in his selfish mind why not repeat what works.

Since I doubt you can just go out and have fun until you find something better with out getting a huge guilt complex I would find someone else to focus on. The infatuation will die off faster the sooner you end it.

Going out with someone just to be seen can be a bad idea because you will get known as his woman wheather you are or not.

The Dummy that decided that people that are reported neglected or abused in nurseing homes does not come under the protective umbrella of Adult Protective Services.