lol yeah I guess it sorta was

well hello and welcome. Glad you're coming out of the closet.

I want to wake up and I want a good bowel movement and.......in that order!

I got Preparation 'H' mixed up with Poli-Grip. Now I walk funny, but my gums don't itch! Good morning peeps!

But lilith I only sent you the email because I didn't want the whole frickin world to know about my Anal Warts!

me gay? Hell, I'm not even happy!

An Elephant asked a camel why are your tits on your back? Camel said aint that some sh!t coming from a b!tch with a d!ck on his face!

lol right wrong or indifferent ya gotta love her she speaks her mind.

hahahahaha (((((((FRan))))))))

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your
free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Fla-a-a-a-ming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay !
It grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate
touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think
about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your ass
over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat... 'Bun-bun,
come to daddy, snookums !' Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so
gay!

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such
nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on
barbeque ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or
tits. Any thing else and your in training and undeniably a turd burglar.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot,
you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he goes
wherever he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular
coffee, you own designer kneepads. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too.

6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four different types of
dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing out free
ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to
remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know
what a 'fressier' is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of
textile other than cotton or denim, you are a knob gobbler.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat
whistle.. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver=2
0or to cut off the jerk. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the
radio station, eat a burger, or hold his beer.!!

Worthy? Of course and I am sooooooooooooo flattered.

I missed ya!!!!!!!!!!! Howdy yuns whats happening and happy belated Thanksgiving. I have a friend that is a helicopter pilot. I had him take me and my daughter on a long helicopter ride over the beach for Thanksgiving. Then I had an offer to get laid my some hot chick on Thursday night! (Actually she told me to crawl up a turkey's ass and wait). Anyway hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for your service and my freedom son in law

Feel free to post!

1. Don't get in line asking questions about the food. 'Who made that potato salad? Is it egg in there? Are the greens fresh? Is the meat in the greens turkey or pork? Who made the macaroni and cheese? What kind of pie is that? Who made it? Ask one more question and I will punch you in your mouth, knocking out all your fronts so you won't be able to eat nothing.



2. If you have kids under the age of twelve, I will escort their little asses to the basement and bring their food down to them. They are not gonna tear my damn house up this year. Tell them that they are not allowed upstairs until it's time for Uncle Butchie to start telling family stories about their mommas and papas. If they come upstairs for any reason except for that they are bleeding to death, I will break a foot off in their asses!



3. There is going to be one prayer for Thanksgiving dinner! JUST ONE! I do not care that you are thankful that your 13 year old daughter gave birth to a healthy baby or your nephew just got out of jail. Save that talk for somebody who gives a damn. The time limit for the prayer is one minute. If you are still talking after that one minute is up, you will feel something hard come across your lips and they will be swollen for approximately 20 minutes.





4. BRING YOUR OWN TUPPERWARE!! Don't let me catch you fixing yourself a plate in my good Tupperware knowing damn well that I will never see it again! Furthermore, if you didn't bring anything over, don't let me catch you making a plate period or it will be a misunderstanding.



5. Do not leave your kids so you can go hopping from house to house. This is not a DAYCARE CENTER ! There will be a kid-parent roll call every ten minutes. Any parent that is not present at the time of roll call, your child will be put outside until you come and get him or her. After 24 hours, I will call DHS on your butt!!



6. BOOK YOUR HOTEL ROOM BEFORE YOU COME INTO TOWN!! There will be no sleeping over at my house! You are to come and eat dinner and take your ass home or to your hotel room. EVERYBODY GETS KICK THE HELL OUT AT 11:00 pm. You will get a 15 minute warning bell ring.



7. Last but not least! ONE PLATE PER PERSON!! This is not a soup kitchen. I am not trying to feed your family until Christmas dinner! You will be supervised when you fix your plate. Anything over the appropriate amount will be charged to you before you leave. There will be a cash register at the door. Thanks to Cousin Alfred and his greedy ass family, we now have a credit card machine! So VISA and MASTERCARD are now being accepted. NO FOOD STAMPS OR ACCESS CARDS YET!

Happy Thanksgiving yall :)

hi and welcome

Happy (early) Thanksgiving!!!

A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon a young boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm.

He stopped and asked the boy, 'Where did you get that turkey?'

The boy replied, 'What turkey?'

The game warden said, 'That turkey you're carrying under your arm.'

The boy looks down and said, 'Well, lookee here, a turkey done roosted under my arm!'

The game warden said, 'Now look, you know turkey season is closed, so whatever you do to that turkey,

I'm going to do to you.

If you break his leg, I'm gonna break your leg. If you break his wing, I'll break your arm.

Whatever you do to him, I'll do to you. So, what are you gonna do with him?'

The little boy said, 'I guess I'll just kiss his ass and let him go!'




May your turkey plump,

May your potatoes and gravy

Have never a lump.

May your yams be delicious

And your pies take the prize,

And may your Thanksgiving dinner

Stay off your thighs!



Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Myrtle Beach Dude/MBD/ Danny

Well if ya can't find "people that are cool are down to earth and are REAL" there's always us. Just kidding and have some fun