If you really need to discipline your children today, try grounding them, and taking away their cell phones and computer privileges. Make them watch T.V without cable.

I assure you, they would rather take a quick beating than have to endure that.

Actually Moe i am not against parents discipling their children but to be struck 18 times with a belt at 16 I found to be overly excessive over something like the computer games and music.....I do not believe in spanking with a weapon and I believe that there should be guidlines......if I had seen it happening I also would have intervened but then again this is coming from a person that was dragged by their hair from bed punched hit with belts thrown into walls falling into a heater and leaving permanent scarring.....I still have scars over my body from the beatings....yet i was never taken to the hospital.....social services came to my house and I was threatened that I would never see family members that were special to me again if I said anything......not only did i suffer physical but mental and sexual abuse growing up......I found the video excessive....I did not feel the punishment fit the crime.....my son stole candy from the store I didnt beat him I took him back made him tell what he had done paid for the candy then made him throw it in the garbage and explained to him what happens to people that steal.....but I did not spank him or beat him I took away television time

You do realize she has cerebral palsy right?

Findings in a report on physical punishment by Elizabeth T Gershoff, PH.D.

The report synthesizes 100 years of social research and published studies in the fields of psychology, medicine, education, social work, and sociology. Her report supports the following:

1. There is little evidence that physical punishment improves children's behavior in the "long" term...
2. There is substantial evidence that physical punishment makes it more, NOT LESS, likely that children will be defiant and aggressive in the future...
3. There is clear evidence that physical punishment puts children at risk for future negative outcomes, including mental health problems...
4. There is consistent evidence that children who are physically punished are at greater risk of serious injury and physical abuse...

Why physical punishment is NOT effective:

1. It does not teach children "why" their behavior is wrong or "what" they should do instead...
2. The pain of physical punishment interferes with the intended message...
3. It teaches children to behave a certain way to avoid being hurt, not because it is right or appropriate
4. It models aggressive behavior as being acceptable...
5. It instills fear...
6. It LINKS VIOLENCE WITH LOVE!!!!!!!...

not all of them

many still dont have those luxuries to begin with,, I agree, for those who are so 'privileged' those types of disciplines may be better.

1. We were EXPLAINED to why our behavior was wrong BEFORE and AFTER the punishment, and we were explained to what to do instead

2. We got the message loud and clear that life is about choices, and that with each choice comes some consequence. The message is we were responsible for our choices and their outcome. Pretty good message.

3. We also were taught what was right or appropriate along with being punished for doing what was NOT right or appropriate.

4. We werent taught to be aggressive at all, anymore than those who have their 'stuff' taken are taught to be thieves. We realized the difference between 'aggression' and 'discipline'.

5. Fear is an emotion that is painted as always negative when fear actually saves lives everyday. People should be AFRAID of going to jail for breaking laws. We were also afraid of the 'law enforcement' in place for breaking laws. We were taught reality, which includes a certain amount of (often life saving) fear.

6. We didnt link violence with love. We linked spanking with discipline. We were shown love when our parents read to us, taught us, exposed us to different experiences and environments, hugged us,,,etc,,

which all comes back to each person doing what works BEST for their children

as far as findings..

they also suggest that corporal punishment works better and is effective for some kids and not for others

specifically, culturally, european and african american families


(look up 'cultural differences in the effects of corporal punishment)

as I said before, do what works for YOUR kids

if your kids value stuff and feel entitled to stuff so much that taking away STUFF will be a deterrent, than do that

but that is not how ALL kids view stuff so its not an effective deterrent to all kids

Exactly!!! And evidence supports the fact that you Harmony were in the minority, not the majority...When it comes to advocating for children's rights, I will go with proven facts.....Guess you could even say that makes you one of the lucky one because I am going to take you at your word when you say you suffered no ill side effects from the corporal punishment your received as a child. You did say that didn't you?...

1. We were EXPLAINED to why our behavior was wrong BEFORE and AFTER the punishment, and we were explained to what to do instead

2. We got the message loud and clear that life is about choices, and that with each choice comes some consequence. The message is we were responsible for our choices and their outcome. Pretty good message.

3. We also were taught what was right or appropriate along with being punished for doing what was NOT right or appropriate.

4. We werent taught to be aggressive at all, anymore than those who have their 'stuff' taken are taught to be thieves. We realized the difference between 'aggression' and 'discipline'.

5. Fear is an emotion that is painted as always negative when fear actually saves lives everyday. People should be AFRAID of going to jail for breaking laws. We were also afraid of the 'law enforcement' in place for breaking laws. We were taught reality, which includes a certain amount of (often life saving) fear.

6. We didnt link violence with love. We linked spanking with discipline. We were shown love when our parents read to us, taught us, exposed us to different experiences and environments, hugged us,,,etc,,

which all comes back to each person doing what works BEST for their children

as far as findings..

they also suggest that corporal punishment works better and is effective for some kids and not for others

specifically, culturally, european and african american families


(look up 'cultural differences in the effects of corporal punishment)

as I said before, do what works for YOUR kids

if your kids value stuff and feel entitled to stuff so much that taking away STUFF will be a deterrent, than do that

but that is not how ALL kids view stuff so its not an effective deterrent to all kids

of course Im a minority, thats no secret,,lol

and 'evidence' supports how much better corporal punishment seems to be with MINORITIES, than others,,,

what if it was 8th time your son stole the candy?

Not very many of them. I've seen countless children who are not well off, living on food stamps, with cell phones and cable and computers.

Even those who do not have these things, most would rather be spanked or hit than be grounded.

There are many many alternatives to hitting your children.

Try talking to them. Try understanding them.

Try taking their toys or their car away from them.

Children may rebel against their parents at a certain age no matter how good a parent you feel you have been. If you think you have to resort to smacking them around, and if you think it really works, and you can get away with it, for now, there apparently isn't much anyone can do about that.

Unless the child learns how to get a lawyer and sue you for assault and battery.

like every other topic, its just peoples opinions

we (in these threads)really have no impact upon how others choose to raise their own children anymore than we do on how they choose to conduct their sex lives,,,

but we can come here and share opinions,,,

Not very many of them. I've seen countless children who are not well off, living on food stamps, with cell phones and cable and computers.

Even those who do not have these things, most would rather be spanked or hit than be grounded.

There are many many alternatives to hitting your children.

Try talking to them. Try understanding them.

Try taking their toys or their car away from them.

Children may rebel against their parents at a certain age no matter how good a parent you feel you have been. If you think you have to resort to smacking them around, and if you think it really works, and you can get away with it, for now, there apparently isn't much anyone can do about that.

Unless the child learns how to get a lawyer and sue you for assault and battery.

Oh, and speaking of other countries, more than 100 countries and principalities have banned physical punishment in schools...More importantly, 24 countries have prohibited physical punishment in ALL settings....They are: Sweden, Finland, Norway, Austria, Croatia, Cyprus, Denmark, Latvia, Bulgaria, Germany, Israel, Iceland, Romania, Ukraine, Hungary, Greece, Chile, The Netherlands, New Zealand, Portugal, Uruguay, Spain, Venezuela, and Costa Rica........

and in which of these countries do african americans preside? the culture in which spanking has not been proven to have all the ills that it supposedly creates elsewhere....

as I said, each one correct their children as they and the laws see fit, hopefully the laws wont prevent those americans for whom the discipline is effective from doing as much

I would like to see a link which support this statement because I find it impossible to believe that minorities react differently to physical punishment than non minorities....A 100 years worth of studies and reports would also be appreciated....

All I can say to this is too funny...

Exactly!!! And evidence supports the fact that you Harmony were in the minority, not the majority...When it comes to advocating for children's rights, I will go with proven facts.....Guess you could even say that makes you one of the lucky one because I am going to take you at your word when you say you suffered no ill side effects from the corporal punishment your received as a child. You did say that didn't you?...

no cigar on the 100 years, although, like the above post, I can simply STATE that 100 years of research has gone into something(or any other random number of years I choose)

no such research PROOF Was provided, just a 'study'

so here is a link to the study on cultural differences,,,

www.law.duke.edu/shell/cite.pl?73+Law+&+Contemp.+Probs

from the link

'After accounting for the effect of children’s antisocial behavior on their
parents’ use of corporal punishment, European American children’s antisocial
behavior elicited more-frequent corporal punishment.3 African American
children’s antisocial behavior, though, was unrelated to the frequency with
which their parents used such punishment.
2. Using a representative community sample, a study found that although
the experience of corporal punishment in the first five years of life was
associated with higher levels of teacher- and peer-reported behavior problems
for European American children in third grade, this was not so for a similar
cohort of African American children.4 No significant association between the
experience of corporal punishment and subsequent teacher- and peer-reported
behaviors was found for African American children.
3. A study reported generally similar associations between spanking and
child-behavior problems across racial and ethnic groups, but reported a trend
for a weaker relationship for African Americans than for European Americans.5
4. A study found a significant association between corporal punishment and
clinical thresholds of behavior problems for European American children, yet
this association was not significant for African American or Hispanic children.'


..'studies' can support either side. the proof is in what works for your OWN children,,, my consistent advise is to find what works and use it, up to and INCLUDING spankings, but not ABUSE,,,

I would like to see a link which support this statement because I find it impossible to believe that minorities react differently to physical punishment than non minorities....A 100 years worth of studies and reports would also be appreciated....