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Topic: Moving for Love, Would You?
SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž's photo
Mon 09/27/21 08:30 AM
Moving for love... always a risk, and it's one that mostly woman takes, and also is expected by men to take.
The times I see men ask in a quiz "Are you willing to move for love?" and of course he'll reject you if you say "no" as he sure as heck isn't going to move.

More often these days I'm wondering -and thinking-, why don't YOU move for love? Why should I take that risk?
I've done that in the past, without any doubt. Cost me dearly.
Now I'd think twice, thrice, or more before I would. It's near impossible these days to get a council house. Can take 5 yrs or more and then what? You're not allowed to live in a caravan, so under the bridge it is I guess.

Thinking about this as I just saw a friend asking for help on FB as she's on a camping and about to be evicted. My jaw dropped as not that long ago she was living together with this dude. A few weeks ago still.
I can still hear her say, "A fireman, oooh! I always wanted a fireman!!" Looks like after 4 yrs the fire has been doused.

At the time she had barely split from her former partner that had cheated on her and she was in the same position: having to leave as it was HIS house and not having a place to go.
He was the Scorpio, "oooh! A Scorpio! I always wanted a Scorpio!"
She'd just found a place of her own, then she moved in with this dude. I'm not surprised as she moved way too fast.

But still... question is, would you move for love?
And this is also for men. And if not, why not? Why do you expect a woman to move while you are unwilling to?
And also... if she was to move in with you, are you willing and flexible to merge her belongings & furniture into the home? Or does she also have to dump all her stuff?

Rock's photo
Mon 09/27/21 08:34 AM
I'd move.

Duttoneer's photo
Mon 09/27/21 10:49 AM

If it was a serious relationship, enough to mean marriage then I would move, but it would require a long relationship first so we both knew each other very well. I would not move just to get know someone, and I would not want them to move just to get to know me, it's a big step.

TxsGal3333's photo
Mon 09/27/21 11:10 AM
Hummm nope will not do it..

My kids live within 20 min & all my family live within 45 min of me..

I bought my house after my divorce and said then I will never be without a place to stay again..

I did try LDR for almost a year of us traveling back and forth and on the phone daily talking. He decided to move here he owned his home did not sell it.. Lasted about 3 months before it was time for him to move back home due to too many difference that came out later.. Will not do that again..

It is why I date only local~~~

I prefer they have their place and I have mine, we can stay at each others place from time to time.. And be exclusive as far as dating~~

motowndowntown's photo
Mon 09/27/21 11:24 AM
Oooooh, I don't know. If she had a nice manse in Malibu and a couple of Ferraris in the garage, I might give it a thought.

Slim gym 's photo
Mon 09/27/21 11:40 AM
Yup !! It's a huge step and not to be taken lightly...
Being established in one place , having family and friends nearby count ...
Having said that , I did ask a girlfriend to move in ... I had known her for just over a year ... but within three months , the differences were alarming. Sad to say had to let her go , she moved into her own place and we remained good friends for over two more years .... it was then that I decided ... to date locally and indulge in the Living together but apart kinda relationship.... so far it's a hoot ... truly , you don't really know a person until you lived with them....
Yes, I would hate anyone to move or me move ... for love :heart:.... unless there is a solid back up plan in place .....

SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž's photo
Mon 09/27/21 11:48 AM

Hummm nope will not do it..

My kids live within 20 min & all my family live within 45 min of me..

I bought my house after my divorce and said then I will never be without a place to stay again..

I did try LDR for almost a year of us traveling back and forth and on the phone daily talking. He decided to move here he owned his home did not sell it.. Lasted about 3 months before it was time for him to move back home due to too many difference that came out later.. Will not do that again..

It is why I date only local~~~

I prefer they have their place and I have mine, we can stay at each others place from time to time.. And be exclusive as far as dating~~

Oh yes, I come across that more often, also from women, wanting a LAT relationship. In a way that would sort problems, provided you both have an equal desire in together-time.
I'd find that difficult and always skip men who want a LAT only. I prefer to be together at night, cook & dine together, go to bed and wake up together etc. etc.
But if both are okay with it... it does sort a lot of potential problems.

SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž's photo
Mon 09/27/21 11:51 AM

Yup !! It's a huge step and not to be taken lightly...
Being established in one place , having family and friends nearby count ...
Having said that , I did ask a girlfriend to move in ... I had known her for just over a year ... but within three months , the differences were alarming. Sad to say had to let her go , she moved into her own place and we remained good friends for over two more years .... it was then that I decided ... to date locally and indulge in the Living together but apart kinda relationship.... so far it's a hoot ... truly , you don't really know a person until you lived with them....
Yes, I would hate anyone to move or me move ... for love :heart:.... unless there is a solid back up plan in place .....

Hmm.. a shame it didn't work out!
In a way I sometimes thing it'd be good to do a kind of trial period, like living together for a while before one gives up their home.
It doesn't always have to be LDR and moving further away from kids.

SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž's photo
Mon 09/27/21 11:53 AM


If it was a serious relationship, enough to mean marriage then I would move, but it would require a long relationship first so we both knew each other very well. I would not move just to get know someone, and I would not want them to move just to get to know me, it's a big step.

Indeed a big step! I wouldn't easily do it either. And we'd need to talk about things openly and honestly. Like addressing the furniture issue, decoration of the house, pets etc. etc.

SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž's photo
Mon 09/27/21 11:54 AM

I'd move.

Good to hear that there are men willing to go there! flowerforyou

no photo
Mon 09/27/21 01:16 PM
Probably, if I was far enough gone. I could always rent the house out, keep it as a back up plan.

Riverspirit1111's photo
Mon 09/27/21 04:19 PM
Yes I would. With my being a traveler, I haven't accumulated very many things. So pretty much everything I own, other than the family property, fits in my car. It makes more sense for me to move. And we would still have the family property in the Keys to stay at once in a while for vacation.

no photo
Mon 09/27/21 05:11 PM
Internationally? No. Covid/Delta has changed my opinion on this. Once I may have considered it, but now it is a definite no. Our borders are closed here in New Zealand and will be for some time. I feel very safe here. A long distant, virtual relationship is not appealing to me. I have already experienced that, it is expensive and exhausting working through the visas.

Nationally? Perhaps. But I would not want to live with them.

Locally? No. I really do value my freedom and independence.

Dramatic Muffin's photo
Mon 09/27/21 05:16 PM
I have done it before, and it was a disaster. I'd have to be really serious with someone before I'd consider moving. Like engaged serious. Because for me, "moving" means giving up a career and lifestyle that I absolutely love.

no photo
Mon 09/27/21 05:48 PM

I'd move.
We could always alternate a year in each country so that way we get the best of both worlds bigsmile :heart:

Mark's photo
Mon 09/27/21 06:07 PM
I did move for love, 17 years ago I made a decision to move to another state to allow her to be near family when moving in together, it was more scary for her, I had no real ties geographically, so it wasn't a huge sacrifice

She passed in 2020, and I would not have done it differently for the fact that she gave me 17 wonderful years, but we each have circumstances, variables that make the decision more or less difficult.


Bastet127's photo
Mon 09/27/21 06:21 PM
I had a romance once and he moved 3,000 miles to the other side of the country, we
co-mingled our stuff (lol, furniture, pets, dvd’s guys), and after 3 months I was like, ugh,
this isn’t working. It was a hard conversation to have, but we split as friends and back
to west coast he went. Then I almost moved to Arizona, but thankfully, I found out what
a scoundrel he was before doing so.

I’m settled, close family, no intentions to ever marry again, so, no, never moving for love.
Dating locally only. Lessons learned.

Kevin's photo
Tue 09/28/21 11:49 PM
Yeah, most certainly I'd move.

justaokguy's photo
Thu 09/30/21 09:00 AM
I'd move. I rarely stay in one place for more than a year anyway. Been in my present place for almost 3 years now. Pretty long term for me. My kids are scattered all over the country so I haven't lived near family in a long time.

Tom4Uhere's photo
Thu 09/30/21 09:36 AM
Been there/done that = never again
I've chosen to only date local women.

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