To the OP: congratulations on FINDING a guy you think you might possibly maybe trying to get the nerve up to ask out to start with

Perhaps conceiving a child during the winter months (in the Northern areas of the world), means that during the latter part of pregnancy there would have been more food for the gestating mother (summer & fall harvest falling towards her 6-8 month time)? Makes sense, since pregnant females need more calories.

It backfires though since the birth will take place in late fall/early winter & thinking of our ancient ancestors there is just less food available from hunting/gathering,at that time, for a nursing mother. Not to mention the threat of cold weather to the newborn.

Still, it must work since ancient humans survived ice ages...

To the OP: I think Bill Withers (Lovely Day, Ain't No Sunshine...) wrote a song about this very thing back in the 70's/80's. I heard it on Youtube, but can't remember the name of it (was a live performance recording).

Still, even if the ladies are hanging on to baggage & seem to want the men to jump thru hoops to "prove" they are better than the exes the women had, at least the woman is out there...that takes some strength, especially if her last r/s was really bad.

I think some women just don't take enough time between r/s's to heal & process. They think they are ready to date, but they aren't. They are still hurting & what they want emotionally is for their past to "not have happened", but that's impossible. You have to learn from your mistakes & sometimes that means making a list of what just doesn't work for you, based on the previous mistakes (like, my ex was alcoholic so I now I'm looking for someone who doesn't drink at all, etc.) This applies to men too btw. Also, let's face it, if there are kids involved: they are living breathing reminders of the father & that r/s didn't work so...it's doubly hard for them to "let it go" when they are constantly reminded of their past.

Well...if you pay taxes I believe that in almost all countries that have a standing military you ARE supporting the troops LOL! A portion of the taxes taken out of your salary go to whatever military org. your country has. If you are living off the land in the wilderness somewhere, with no SS#, no cash income, then no, you don't support the troops LOL! So you pay your taxes, & then organize or attend anti-war protests - see how that works? It is possible to feel "support" for an individual yet despise the individuals employers (don't shop at Walmart but let your teenager work there after school b/c they need the $ (min. wage is better than no wage?) etc. It is mutually exclusive.

No different from liking someone you meet on OLD as a friend but having no sexual attraction for them (the dreaded friend zone thingy). You won't date them but you will talk on the phone or hang out in the daytime once in a while. Men can get the wrong idea quickly if the woman doesn't make her interest (or non-interest) clear upfront.

To the OP:

I understand completely- sighhhhh...the attractive part obviously counts b/c I have yet to find an online dating site that PROHIBITS photos completely LOL! Good looks do count from the time we are in born to the time we are laid out for viewing (the mortuary industry wouldn't exist without this facet of human psychology).

I wish your post had been successful in getting more men to respond. I was thinking of trying something like that myself but since you went first I can see the results LOL! The ideal would have been to get a response from the thread from a male that you found attractive, had a profile w/something in common AND was local to you, so you could start messaging & wind up meeting.

Oh well...good try anyway.

Awww...I would definitely fall for Kitteh's scam...(already have 2 living with me LOL!)

Considering what's going on now in Nigeria, plus the social/political ills in other countries around the world, I can see why so many are trying to meet Americans or Europeans with the hopes of getting the K-1 visa (for the US) & getting out. America is still the land of opportunity for so many others. The $$ scammers though...that's just ridiculous & you've got no one else to blame but yourself if you fall for it.

To the OP: is 'not mutually exclusive' like saying "I support the troops, but am against the war" kind of thing?

As far as saying anything about the racial issues people have with one another it should be an individual thing, strictly based on ones own experiences, but it is often not. Example...I was mugged on the NYC subway by a black man years ago. My friend walked up to her car one morning & found a white guy breaking into it. Neither one of us is blaming the whole ethnic group for our misfortunes & thinking that "they're all the same", but we can & do continue our personal friendships with people of the opposite color, as long as they are not behaving like the people of that group who we had the bad experience with.

Just like in dating/relationships: if you had a real bad RS with a guy who did xyz & now you've met a new guy & he's exhibiting the same behaviors...you will know it's no good for you based on your personal experience. You don't hate all the men, just the men who do xyz, = mutually exclusive, no?

LOL! If I can't find a young virgin, then I need an old goat: guess which one is in plentiful supply...

Hi Iam...

Because the site is international, you will get a lot of traffic from outside the US. I do agree there seems to be a lot of "visits" to one's profile from men from out of state.

Congrats for knowing what you want & sticking to it. As for the interest from the "young'uns"...males in their 20's are just hard wired to try to hit on any female regardless of age/profile stats. etc. Happens in real life, so you know that a computer screen won't stop them LOL! Good luck to us both...

LOL! If online dating is the devil's "work", then he is collecting unemployment insurance in my case, since I haven't had an actual date, as of yet. Oh well, I guess the blood that I drew my pentagram with is drying out, so that's why he isn't responding to my requests...maybe a sacrificial virgin would get his attention?

Most of the profiles from the men on this site are fake LOL! Since this is an international site it's very easy for these groups (mostly overseas) to get on it & try to get someone they think they can scam. A lot of them use photos of actual American military men that they copied off the internet somehow. Just think of this site as "entertainment" & you'll be less disappointed. Good luck in Tennessee.

To the op: w/out the physical attraction, sex would be difficult or impossible, no? Therefore w/out the sex the "love" this person has for you is only that of friendship - not a full partners relationship. As for being attracted to the wrong person: after the initial physical attraction dies down (however long it takes to get bored from having sex with them), since there was no mental/emotional bond, again, it's not a full relationship.

I agree completely that it is very difficult to find someone who attracts both the physical AND emotional/mental sides of oneself. When you "settle" for one or the other, you will not be satisfied & the relationship is doomed from the start. I honestly don't believe it is possible to "become" physically attracted to someone you find unattractive physically, no matter how nice they are to you, or how much you have in common with them. The only instance I can think of involves this person saving your life somehow in an adrenalin fueled emergency situation...then the hormones come into play & can actually change your emotional state. In everyday ordinary life, this doesn't happen.

What creeps me out is getting a 2nd message from someone the same day or the 2nd day after NOT responding to the 1st one. The next worse in creep factor is getting a hostile message (always includes the word b*tch in it), after not responding to a message.

In person, creep out immediately surfaces if the man gets too close physically too soon: wants to put his arm around me or hold my hand (doesn't matter if I think he's handsome or not)...not appropriate for the 1st meet in a coffee shop, or even if we meet to just walk around (in the summertime). Also, the offer of driving a woman home is appreciated...but the INSISTENCE is definitely creep out, red flag, get me outta here city.

I think men would be creeped out by a woman wanting to get too close physically too? Personal space is personal space, no matter how big her chest is LOL!

PS: no1pdD - if a guy who WASN'T a chef/butcher/caterer/whatever in the food industry, started telling me about his home meat slicer on the first date...I'd be a little creeped out...that's just too much enjoyment of dissecting meat for someone not making a living from it LOL! But then I'd also be bored of someone who could only talk about their job, as well.

Well, going to the first meet with someone you met on OLD is a little bit like a job interview: the profiles are like resumes & you are both interviewing each other for the "job" of being a b/f or g/f. That involves a fair amount of questions.

If you can't provide specifics on jobs listed on your resume, or references: any employer would become suspicious & not offer you the job. Same thing applies in OLD. If you profile states you're looking for marriage & want to have kids, but in the meeting you don't answer his questions about "how long do you think you should date before marriage" or "how many kids do you think you want" - that sends red flags to him. Same as if a girl is asking you about a certain type of music or hobby you listed & you evade/give vague answers: she will think you were not telling the truth in your profile.

Now asking things like where do you live & wanting the exact address or the address of your job or exactly how many people live with you & when are they home: THOSE are red flags LOL! If you are divorced - it's never appropriate to bring it up or to ask about the other person's divorce on the first meet.

Asking more probing questions about what a person listed in their profile: that's just the way we figure out if we want a 2nd date with the other person (unless the physical attraction is so great it overrules good sense, which often happens). Of course the profiles matter too: if there are no common interests - why bother messaging the person or replying to a message in the first place (again, it's often just based on looks), so you don't wind up on a date with someone who's going to ask a lot of questions just because there's nothing you have in common to talk about...

Hi Debbie1980:

Attraction can change for most people based on their experiences with their personal RS's. For me, when I first started going out w/my ex- boyfriend, I thought he was attractive. By the time we broke up...I thought he was repulsive & I now look for the opposite of him in looks when it comes to a man. If you keep going for the same type of guy (type of face/body, personality, career), & it never works out...you are sabotaging your own chance to find a good match. But it is hard to step out of one's comfort zone, for example I will never consider someone shorter than me b/c I'm not physically comfortable with that in a male. Could there be the perfect guy for me who's 5'7 - maybe, & I'll never give him a chance b/c the physical aspect of attraction will never be there for me. Personality & intelligence & all of the other traits can't make up for the fact that you don't want to get naked with the other person LOL! Without the physical attraction...it's just a friend of the opposite sex, not a b/f, g/f, husband, wife, lover...

To the OP: "Craigslist"...you'll find a openminded male there for the occasional dip into the "Y" gene pool...

To all the married people who want to know if it is "all right" to seek sexual satisfaction outside the marriage for whatever reason.

Yes: as long as both parties know about it AND can afford it monetarily: Men don't want their wives to know b/c they might get sued for divorce & lose $$ (house, alimony child support etc). Women don't want their husbands to know b/c they might get sued for divorce & lose their standard of living (even if working F/T they are generally making less than their spouse in whatever field). What the kids (if any) suffer is varied although usually their standard of living goes down if their mother's does, since they usually wind up living with her.

So the answer is yes, only if you can afford the potential $$$ loss. If you actually talk to the spouse & say I need "whatever" sexually & they decline then you've already opened up the idea in their mind that you're going to cheat. Just get a separation (no alimony) & find someone to have sex with. If your spouse refuses to let you go but won't give you what you want, divorce is the only way to go. If you are gainfully employed you can find a new place to live, replace the possessions lost via a divorce, but you can never replace wasted years spent unfulfilled & resenting your spouse. This kind of emotional upset makes you bitter, angry & ironically less likely to be satisfied sexually no matter who you're with. Not attractive to anyone.

Sorry to sound so "SciFi-ish", but a healthy society in any culture has to have a balance between well, there's no other way to describe it but "castes": workers/breeders, military, & the "elite" of the governing religious/political groups. When there comes to be too large a gap between those who work & reproduce in larger numbers and those who are supported by the workers & reproduce in fewer numbers...then the society slowly begins to collapse.

Think about ancient civilizations such as China/Egypt/Rome/Atzec - Maya -Inca. These were all based on a divide between the elite & the peasantry. When the #'s of "poor" became too large for the adequate distribution of resources (food/land for agriculture/water resources)then the elite began to feel the pressures too. Then it only took something like civil unrest on their borders, a plague, invasion from a new group of people (the Spanish conquistadors/the Huns/Ghenghis Khan's Mongolian hordes),or the beginnings of climate change in their geographical area; to take these societies over the tipping point & they collapsed.

Encouraging "reproduction" will always backfire since it's only a SELECT group that will be encouraged to make more of "their own". BTW, humans & our higher primate relatives are one of the species who's populations regularly out pace their food supplies. Even roaches will cease reproduction when starving. Doesn't say too much for us...

1. Henri, Le Chat Noir (all 10 episodes)

2. Simon's Cat (the vocals of the kitty are too cute)

3. Talking Animals/Pets Add Life series(Klaatu42) (will miss the
star cat Jupiter so much though).

As women we walk a fine line between wanting the "manly" take charge guy & the in touch with his emotions (& therefore ours), willing to be vulnerable guy. If a man is only one or the other - we get pretty tired of it pretty quickly.

The real problem comes from the chain of though that goes like this in our heads: I deserve a "do better" man & I'm not settling. So, we start rejecting or nexting guys who then see us as too much of a challenge or think we're playing games so they don't TRY to "do better" with us & we never get what we want...vicious circle that frustrates everyone. Not to mention knowing our own flaws & making decisions in a RS about "doing better" ourselves. There is a point at which you become so self confident & content that no one can measure up to your own standards if they are kept strictly.